With all the diaries going up on racism I figured what the heck, why not throw mine in the mix, after all I understand racism as well as the next guy or gal, right?
Ya dayum skippy I do because I am old, I grew up in a segregated south and I am Black!
Ladies and gentlemen of KOS and I am speaking directly to those of the Caucasian race. You are not, nor will you ever be a true authority on the subject of race. Even Tim Wise whom I greatly admire can not make that claim.
I know with all my heart many of you mean well but the truth is, as long as you pretend to know and understand beyond a shadow of a doubt, what racism is every single time it raises it’s ugly head, all you are doing is making the situation worse, not better.
STOP, LOOK, LISTEN
Racism is more than an exercise in academics, it goes beyond things you can blatantly see and hear. Unless you are a person of Color, you can’t begin to truly comprehend how it feels or what it looks like, in ALL its glory. You can sympathize but you will never, ever be able to empathize.
People of Color are the true authorities and yes, even authority can be wrong but our percentages of hits are a lot higher than non people of color. Our misses are much lower than many of you are giving us credit for.
Can I give you statistics, no and that’s part of the problem. Many instances and issues go beyond the tangible. That’s my reality and not yours.
I can give you anecdotes but even an anecdote will not always explain this phenomenon fully. So what’s a person to do?
Stop, Look and Listen!
I KNOW you want to be heard as well and trust me, I understand and I empathize but you are not the one dealing with racism, I am. This is an area where I can truly say when it comes to facing racism it is all about me. I understand how that concept can come across as arrogant. I understand it can upset and annoy but again, racism is my reality, not yours.
This doesn't mean racism does not have an impact on our society. It does mean you can not be affected as well. It simply means, racism affects me more. It's not a game or pissing contest, it's my reality.
A few days ago I read a dairy of a Gay soldier that really touched me and opened my eyes to something I never though about. Something I took for granted. The soldier spoke about having to write to his partner in code in order not to be outed.
The simple act of having to write a love one in code stopped me dead in my tracks.
Although there are many similarities in our situations, there are things I can never possibly know because I am not Gay.
I can not fully see life through the eyes of anyone in the LGBT community, or the Muslim community, Hispanic community, not even fully through your community and you can not fully see life through mine. Please stop trying to convince yourself you can.
Yes we want to be understood, but we need you to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN!
Too many of you are not doing this. You are not listening because you are trying too hard (imo) to get us to listen to you. Again, I know many of you mean well and I sincerely appreciate the effort but you’re alienating many of us even more. You don’t mean to, but you are.
I want an open and honest dialog on race more than you know. I want your input, your comments and questions, more than you know but you are not the authority on this subject, I am. That’s not me being mean, snarky, insincere, or any other adjective you would like to throw out. That’s me wanting desperately for you to deal with my reality. A reality I have dealt with all my life.
You really want to start an honest dialog? Let me ask a few questions I asked in a comment.
How many understand that pointing out a racist comment is not always meant as an accusation that you are racist?
How many people on both sides of this divide understand the difference between the two?
How many of you will admit that you felt you were accused of being a racist when in actuality you were not?
Let the dialog begin.
UPDATE: Everyone, thank you for engaging in this conversation with me. I also want to thank you for thinking it's important enough to place on the rec list.
I understand many may not agree or like what I've written but I honestly tried to be sincere in my thoughts. It was not written to offend but to be heard and start a constructive dialog.
For the most part, I see that happening and that gives me hope we can build on this.
Thanks again and I will try and get to as many comments as I can but I honestly didn't expect it to take off like this. Forgive me if I miss anyone.
UPDATEII
I was about to respond to a comment and decided to do this in an update for several reasons. One, it’s something I feel is important. Note I said I feel this. Did not say anyone else had to feel the same way. I also wanted to bow out for awhile because there are things on the home front I need to do. But I did want to thank you all again, for a really great experience, overall.
I believe it’s been productive but mainly because of the community. Thanks Kos and I mean that with all my heart.
To the person who mentioned reparations:
I don't know if reparations will change anything
As a matter of fact it could continue the divide. Sort of like affirmative action has to a certain degree.
It has to start with self, understanding and accepting who we are, the good and the bad.
Knowing we will be perfect (in our own way) sometimes. Not perfect at other times but, forgiving ourselves for those imperfect times, and learning from them.
Out of all the things I have experienced in my life (and there have been many) the most difficult was taking a deep and long hard look in the mirror.
Sometimes it feels as if I resisted it for most of my life but once I took that look, a new world opened up, one where I could be accepting of myself and others.
I still have to take a look in that mirror sometimes and it still can be a difficult thing to do but it’s not anywhere as tough as the first time. It gets easier with each look.
For me this is where the work begins. Whatever the situation or the issue, it starts with looking at and being honest with self first. This is what I feel and believe. It’s what works for me.
Good nite everyone and thanks again
Ciao,
JUP
P.S. I posted a video for you guys in the comment section. Yeah it's corny but music is my living and my life.;)