Inspired by this front page diary from yesterday, and my snarky comment referencing it from last night.
I give you: The Twelve Forms of Torture. You know the tune.
The First form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Second form of tor-ture
My Country gave to meeee...
Two freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Third form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Fourth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Fifth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Sixth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Seventh form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Eighth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Eight boots 'a' stomping,
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Ninth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Nine bamboo shoots,
Eight boots 'a' stomping,
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Tenth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Ten Cattle prods,
Nine bamboo shoots,
Eight boots 'a' stomping,
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Eleventh form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Eleven Roulettes Russian,
Ten Cattle prods,
Nine bamboo shoots,
Eight boots 'a' stomping,
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut punch from a guard's knee.
The Twelfth form of tor-ture
My country gave to meeee...
Twelve Mock burials,
Eleven Roulettes Russian,
Ten Cattle prods,
Nine bamboo shoots,
Eight boots 'a' stomping,
Seven Sleeps deprived,
Six Dental drills,
FIVE WA-TER BOARRRRDS!
Four stress positions,
Three Nude poses,
Two Freezing rooms, and
A Gut pu-unch from a guard's knee-eee-eee-eeeeee!
Thank you! Thank You! I'll be hear all week. Try the veal.