From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Mailbag
Dear Robert Gibbs,
I can't believe what you said! How dare you! I take umbrage, you...you...
Okay, okay...I admit it. I make a lousy hothead. Just ain't in me. So let me quickly say this and then I'll wander off in search of grannies to help cross the street so you can get back to work:
The Obama administration, in which you're a key player, came into office telling its base---namely, us---that we should not be patient. That we should push push push and make you enact the agenda that candidate Obama and his surrogates rattled off hundreds of times on the campaign trail. We were not to be sheep, you said---we were to be hard-headed realists.
"Make us do it!" your boss said. "Hold our feet to the fire!" "Hold us accountable for our actions!"
So we did. And we do. Every day. On blogs, on radio, on TV, through word-of-mouth or any other way we can think of. We're keeping our end of the bargain that you struck with us.
So, um, if I may say, sir: yikes...
During an interview with The Hill in his West Wing office, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs blasted liberal naysayers, whom he said would never regard anything the president did as good enough.
"I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested," Gibbs said. "I mean, it’s crazy. ... They will be satisfied when we have Canadian healthcare and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon. That’s not reality."
Well. Consider my butt paddled.
If the quality of our agreeing-to-do-what-you've-asked-us-to-do-since-2008 isn’t to your satisfaction, sir, perhaps you would like to clarify the role we---your base---should be playing. Because your rant has left me confused in the brainhead.
Just because you "achieve something"---whatever that something is---doesn’t automatically mean it's all magically delicious. We praise you loud 'n proud for what you do that makes sense (signing the bill yesterday to save jobs---yay!), criticize you for what doesn't make sense (Not signing a bill that creates public jobs to compensate for the jobs the private sector isn't creating because management has Gone Galt or something), and explain our positions and opinions as best we can by scrawling them on the dirt floors of our rabble huts.
I love your boss, Mr. Gibbs. I stood in line in a blizzard for two hours waiting to vote for him in the Maine caucus. I filled in the oval on my ballot so hard on November 4, 2008 that the marker tip almost went through the other side. And I like you, too, Bob. (Can I call you Bob? My dad's name was Bob.) I like much of what you've all accomplished so far under some very tough circumstances, and I've sang your praises aplenty. So, please...don’t swat at us like pesky gnats just because the feedback you get isn’t always pleasant. The sooner you learn that we're not automatons like the GOP's base, the better. (And we have this little habit of being correct about things an obscenely high percent of the time. You might want to look into that.)
So now what? I suggest we kiss (air kiss only, please, as I hear you have a cold), make up, and get down to the business of making the Republicans---aka the say nothing, do nothing, know nothing southern regional Save The Rich From The Poor party---regret they ever predicted a blowout in November. We'd be happy to meet you halfway by accepting an invitation to the White House for some beer.
Sincerely,
Just me...Billy
P.S. Please thank President Obama for appearing in a video at our Netroots Nation convention last month. I noticed he wove in a lengthy clip of "professional left" MSNBC host Rachel Maddow---who has been relentlessly and sharply critical of some of your policies and decisions---reciting a list of complimentary things about the administration. See? We ain't so bad.
P.P.S Don't look now, but I think your Secretary of Defense just started eliminating the Pentagon. You might want to have a little chat with Mr. Gates. Kucinich may have gotten to him with his mind-altering ray gun.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Note: DATE CHANGE ALERT! The Kossack meetup originally scheduled for August 28-29 has been moved up to August 21-22 at Kossack Simple's lakefront camp on Little Sebago Lake in Gray, Maine. Stop by for the afternoon or bring a tent and camp out for the night. Bottled water and soda will be provided---otherwise BYOB. For more info, email Simple at mbdevine51 [at] hotmail.com. Michael and I will be there, and our chocolate lab, Molly, will join us to sign pawtographs. For half-price!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 83
Days `til the Flag City Balloon Fest in Findlay, Ohio: 2
Approximate number of people affected by the floods in Pakistan: 14 million
Approximate amount the U.S. Chamber of Commerce will spend savaging Democrats this election season because that's what their millionaire/billionaire overlords have directed them to do: $75 million
(Source: Time)
Percent of Americans who say they'd get some kind of cosmetic surgery if money was no object: 69%
(Source: Harris survey via The Week)
Percent of women who say women are better drivers than men: 7%
Percent of men who say men are better drivers than women: 40%
(Source: TeleNav survey via USA Today)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 173 (including 5 Ecumenisms and 1 disturbing Bible camp). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Fascinating
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CHEERS to compassionate liberalism (pardon the redundancy). Just a reminder to keep an eye on the Great Orange Satan today through Friday for Gulf Coast Blogathon posts. Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, noweasels and Meteor Blades have organized the event that kicks off later this afternoon. Wrote Kos yesterday:
Daily Kos and guest bloggers will be covering a variety of issues as we seek to assist our friends and neighbors in Gulf states. Blogathon is organized...just like our EcoAdvocates series with fund-raising and take-action items for recovery of people, wildlife and environment.
Blogathon runs from around 1 p.m. Pacific to 6 or 8 p.m. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week. Bloggers include: Bill McKibben, danieljkessler (Greenpeace), Project Gulf Impact (from NN10 with special reports each night), Laurence Lewis, Meteor Blades, citisven, JekyllnHyde, rb137, boatsie, pico, oke, Ellinorianne, LaFeminista, Fishgrease, Pam LaPier, mogmaar, noweasels and Patriot Daily.
Meanwhile, at the site of the capped-but-not-killed "hole," relief-well work has been delayed by a storm and they may not resume until next week. Also due to the storm the Undersea Robot Players production of Oh, Calcutta! has been cancelled---patrons will receive full refunds.
CHEERS to House projects that require a really big hammer. Yesterday the lower chamber of the Legislative branch, having hustled back to D.C. for the occasion, gaveled itself into session and passed a bill that doesn’t create jobs jobs jobs...but does the next-best thing by saving jobs jobs jobs. Police officers and firefighters and sanitation workers and nurses and teachers---hundreds of thousands, in fact---are among the professions included in the bill. (Or, as John Boehner calls these hard-working, patriotic American professionals, "special interests"---the gall of that golfaholic!) And the whole thing was paid for by closing some corporate loopholes, plus it reduces the deficit a tad for good measure. So chalk up another WIN in the Democrats' column. And count down the seconds before Republicsna start taking credit for it: 5...4...3...2...
JEERS to dumb moves. On August 11, 1984, during a radio voice test, President Reagan joked: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that would outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." (Listen to it here.) The Russians had a good laugh over it...right after they carefully put their missiles back in their silos and sucked down a bottle of vodka. Not necessarily in that order.
CHEERS to election FEVUH! Yesterday primary voters in Connecticut, Georgia, Colorado and Minnesota put on an awesome display of low turnout as they cast their ballots for sane Democrats and crazy Republicans. Results:
Colorado >> In the Democratic primary for Senate, Obama's man Bennett beat Clinton's man Romanoff.
>> In the Republican primary for Senate, teabagger Ken "I don't wear heels" Buck beat Jane Norton.
>> In the GOP Guv primary, "Bike sharing is a U.N. plot" teabagger Dan Maes beat the plagiarist Scott McGinnis.
(Chuck Todd summed up the Republican party's Colorado implosion on Hardball as "political malpractice.")
Connecticut >> The Democratic Attorney General Dick Blumenthal faces the Republican wrestling lady Linda McMahon in the Senate race.
>> Democrat Dan Malloy faces Republican Tom Foley for the governorship. Sorry, Ned.
Georgia >> In the GOP runoff election for governor, it's still too close to call: Karen Handel (Palin/Romney's pick) and Nathan Deal (Gingrich/Huckabee's pick) are all locked up.
Minnesota >> Mark Dayton will be the Dem candidate for governor vs. Republican Tom Emmer.
Scoreboard at TPM. David Kurtz sums it all up in six words: "Some very advantageous outcomes for Dems." And, as always, it's excellent news for John McCain.
JEERS to flying the unfriendly skies. I didn’t care for former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens' brand of politics, but I certainly don’t think he deserved to die in a plane crash. He was 86 and we send our condolences to his family. Although he may be gone, he leaves behind a legacy as an accidental pop culture icon whose "series of tubes" rant---despite being an attack on net neutrality---spawned a dozen timeless blogger buzzwords and catchphrases. We may have been on opposite sides of the spectrum, but we'll always tip our hat when we write about the "intertubes."
CHEERS to cleaning up after "The war to end all wars." On August 11, 1919, Germany’s Weimar Constitution came into being. It was quite liberal for its time, bestowing more rights than we currently have in this country:
Persons have the right to be notified within a day of their arrest or detention as to the authority and reasons for their detention and be given the opportunity to object. This is equivalent to the principle of habeas corpus in the common law of England and elsewhere. (Article 114)
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A German's home is an asylum and is inviolable.(Article 115)
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Privacy of correspondence, of mail, telegraph, and telephone are inviolable. (Article 117)
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Germans are entitled to free expression of opinion in word, writing, print, image, etc. This right cannot be obstructed by job contract, nor can exercise of this right create a disadvantage. Censorship is prohibited. (Article 118)
Wow. And then Hitler came along and fucked it all up. Anyway, it was signed 91 years ago today by President Friedrich Ebert. He gave it two thumbs up.
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Four years ago in C&J: August 11, 2006
JEERS to the Vacationer-in-Chief. The president sends a postcard to reassure the shaky-knees crowd:
Dear `Murica,
Havin' fun in Crawford. Wish you were here. Watch out for terrorist evildoers. And I ain't just talkin' 'bout Democrats. Heh Heh Heh. Li'l humor there to keep the situation lightenably levitatious.
GWB
P.S. Clearin' brush is hard work!
Everybody feel better now?
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And just one more...
CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS and MORE CHEERS to Exmearden. The front-page goddess with the Molly Ivins moxie is undergoing surgery today. As she explained a couple weeks ago:
From the estimates I can find on the internet, through other patients' stories on cancer forums and newsgroups, this surgery that may take place on August [11] will cost the insurance company something in the near neighborhood of a quarter of a million. If successful, it will give me years maybe, instead of months. Not a cure. The stuff I have always grows back, often in the same place over the repaired area. ...
Like a borrowed roof over my head, a healthier heart for awhile appeals to me. Crack it open, pull it out, leave it pulsing while the blood flow is redirected to a heart/lung device, find the damn tumor and hopefully clear margins around the growth, resect and sew me back up.
Baddaboom baddabing. Easy as pie. Or so we hope. When you get a moment, send some positive vibes Houston-way and sign the Giant Orange Get Well Card. And, if you're of a mind to, cross all your fingers and your toes on Ex's behalf for luck. Be patient, though---it's tougher than it looks. And relly bard to tupe.
Have a nice Wednesday and we hope you don't end up driving behind this guy. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Democratic Strategy For Midterms: We're Not As Bad As Bill in Portland Maine
---Crooks and Liars
8/10/10
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