A self-described prophet from Red Oak, TX has solved the puzzle of the dying birds in Arkansas: It's the fault of the gays, specifically the repeal of DADT.
This morning's humor brought to you by Rightwingwatch.
A prophet, who has been asked by many people about the cause of the bird dieoff in Arkansas, shares her revelation:
According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say "what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?" Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding.
Well, there’s something interesting we have been watching – let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern? We’re going to watch and see. But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage and now that we’ve had the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.
It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.
Problem solved! To be honest, all those birds were pooping on my Miata.
The speaker is Cindy Jacobs of Generals International, a "respected prophet who travels the world ministering not only to crowds of people, but to heads of nations."
Before the election, she also had a prophetic vision:
It is not His will for the economy to take a turn and spiral downward into another great depression. He still wants to answer from heaven and pour out His mercy upon us as a nation.
For this reason, in addition to working to elect pro-life, pro-family candidates who are fiscally responsible, I am calling for a forty day fast leading up to the election beginning on September 24th through election day November 2, 2010.
I forget what chapter from Romans the call for fiscal conservation comes from, but you know it's there! The mixing of religious idealogy (pro-life, pro-family (whatever that means), with the political (fiscally responsible)) continues to baffle me. Though honestly, if we read the full prophecy, we don't really need to worry about being fiscally responsible if we just support Israel:
If we continue in our stance of support for Israel, the Stock Market will stabilize and prosper, and that which is fragile will become strong. Supernatural solutions will be sent from Heaven that our natural minds could never reason, nor grasp and they will heal the land.
I say we just give Israel more guns and spend, spend, spend!
This appears to be just a two-man show based out of Red Oak, TX (less than 75 miles from Waco...is there something the the water around Dallas that causes this?). Still, who lets these people out of the reservation?
NOTE 1: If anyone can help me embed the link, I will be happy to. (Thanks fritzrth for the embed link, got it)
NOTE 2: Yes, this is kind of a "bash religion" diary. Since I am usually against bashing religion for bashing's sake, let me just say that this is really out there: God doesn't just want pro-life, he wants Fiscally Conservative candidates! The end of DADT (which I suspect was a Crime Against God to these people back in the 90s) caused the dieoff in Arkansas? Sorry, but they type of "prophecy" deserves mockery.