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In yet another hilarious segment, last night Jon Stewart showed evidence to support his incredible claim that Sarah Palin is really... a Russian spy!!!

We've been worrying about Kenyan Islamo-socialism this whole time, when we forgot about a good ol' Russian Communist sleeper agent!  Course, there'd have to be other tells.  Her answers to questions would always have to be unnaturally cagey.

GLENN BECK (1/13/2010): Who's your favorite Founder?

SARAH PALIN: Um... you know... well, all of them!

Yeah, it's so hard to pick one, when you didn't learn any of them growing up in Moscow!

KATIE COURIC (10/1/2008): What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

SARAH PALIN: Mmm... well... let's see... there's... (sighs) of course, in the great history of America, there have been rulings that, um, there's never going to be absolute consensus.

Good answerevitch.  Oh my God, it all makes so much sense now!

Video and transcript below the fold.

In last week's State of the Union address, President Obama issued our nation a challenge.

BARACK OBAMA (1/25/2011): Half a century ago, when the Soviets beat us into space with the launch of a satellite called Sputnik...

(image of Kathy Proctor mouthing "That's me!")

No!  That is not... Kathy Proctor, you are not the first satellite launched into space by the Soviets in 1957!  You're just not!

BARACK OBAMA (1/25/2011): We unleashed a wave of innovation that created new industries and millions of new jobs.  This is our generation's Sputnik moment.

To the moon!  Oh.  So I guess you're saying it would be good if the nation's current predicament could act as a kind of national wake-up call, similar to how Sputnik woke us up, blah blah blah.  Of course, that's not how Fox News's Alaska bureau chief heard things.

SARAH PALIN (1/26/2011): That was another one of those WTF moments, that when he so often repeated this "Sputnik moment", that he would aspire Americans to celebrate, and he needs to remember that what happened back then with the former Communist U.S.S.R., and their victory in that race to space.  Yeah, they won, but they also incurred so much debt at the time, that it resulted in the inevitable collapse of the Soviet Union.

(confused audience laughter)

(in Scooby Doo voice) What's that, Scooby?

I guess that's one of those WTS moments, Where To Start?  Well, let's start with WTF.  Future speechwriting note: the "F" stands for "fuck".

Second, when Obama said "Sputnik moment", he wasn't rallying us to repeat Russia's space race record of short-term win and long-term loss.  And also, it wasn't really the space race that bankrupted the Soviets, it was the arms race, though I guess we should be glad you didn't blame it on The Amazing Race.

But I'm arguing facts with you, and that's not the point.  The point is, who would purposefully twist around historic facts and put out such a willful misunderstanding of the President's words?  I mean... you'd almost have to actually BE a Soviet agent...  OH MY GOD!!

Sarah Palin may be a Russian spy!!

What??  No, that's crazy.  That's crazy.

I know, but what if it's true?

C'mon!  If Sarah Palin were a Soviet agent, she would've slipped up by now.  Made some reference to favoring a totalitarian state.

SARAH PALIN (11/24/2010): Obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies.  We're bound to by treaty.

PAT GRAY: South Korean.

We've been worrying about Kenyan Islamo-socialism this whole time, when we forgot about a good ol' Russian Communist sleeper agent!  Course, there'd have to be other tells.  Her answers to questions would always have to be unnaturally cagey.

GLENN BECK (1/13/2010): Who's your favorite Founder?

SARAH PALIN: Um... you know... well, all of them!

Yeah, it's so hard to pick one, when you didn't learn any of them growing up in Moscow!

KATIE COURIC (10/1/2008): What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

SARAH PALIN: Mmm... well... let's see... there's... (sighs) of course, in the great history of America, there have been rulings that, um, there's never going to be absolute consensus.

Good answerevitch.  Oh my God, it all makes so much sense now!

(montage of floating Sarah Palin heads dodging questions)

That was slow motion.

Don't you see?  She's a Russian agent!  Most comfortable in long northern winters?  Her favorite color is... RED!

What is the mascot of Russia?  A bear!

SARAH PALIN (12/27/2010): The Mama Grizzly is all about protecting the young.

You are totally a super-hot Russian spy!  Like Anna Chapman!  Or... Natasha from Bullwinkle!

Of course, if Sarah Palin were really Natasha from Bullwinkle, she'd have a terrible problem with moose, but....

(clip of Sarah Palin shooting a moose on her reality show)

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN: This is delicious, the moose, it's sweeter.

Hey squirrel... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jon also looked at the crisis in Egypt, and had some advice for Mubarak on living in exile... in style!  He also had a good discussion with Bill Gates about combating malaria and polio in the third world.  Stephen also discussed Egypt with professor Samer Shehata, and then looked at the latest in taser news, before Paul Offit came on to debunk all the "vaccines cause autism" unscientific bullshit.


And like I said in my previous diary on Rush Limbaugh's racist Chinese rant, unlike those who want to ignore Sarah Palin, I'll echo what brooklynbadboy and Josh Marshall said about why we cannot ignore Sarah Palin.

This is actually a real blind spot for liberals in general -- the idea that things that are crazy or tawdry or just outrageous are really best ignored. Don't give them more attention. You're just giving them what they want. Or maybe it's not so practical and utilitarian. Maybe, they say, it's just beneath us. Focus on the important stuff.

On so many levels this represents an alienation from the popular political culture which is not only troubling in itself but actually damages progressive and center-left politics in general no end. It's almost the fatal flaw. Democrats often console themselves that even when they don't win elections, usually their individual policies are more popular than those of Republicans. Too bad you can't elect a policy. It's true for instance that Health Care Reform -- which still has more opponents than supporters -- is pretty popular when you ask people about its individual components. But why is that? It's not random, because that pattern crops up again and again. It's another one of the examples where liberals -- or a certain strain of liberalism -- focuses way too much on the libretto of our political life and far too little on the score. It's like you're at a Wagner opera reading the libretto with your ear plugs in and think you've got the whole thing covered.

Politics can never be separated from policy, unless you're in a political science class or getting a Phd in health care economics. The two are inextricably combined. And any attempt to pry them apart in a deep way is not only hopeless but also deeply wrongheaded.

So yes, I fully support ridiculing Sarah Palin until she's completely laughed off the national stage.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Tue Feb 01, 2011 at 03:58 AM PST.

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