"Along with solving the non-existent Voter ID problem, meddling in women's reproduction rights, ending non-existent sanctuary cities, and distracting voters from my $27 Billion budget hole, I have put the eradication of the Chupacabra on the list of emergency items for this session." said Perry at a press conference.
Today Governor Perry called upon the 82nd Legislature to put the eradication of the Chupacabra on the list of emergency legislation. "Along with solving the non-existent Voter ID problem, meddling in women's reproduction rights, ending non-existent sanctuary cities, and distracting voters from my $27 Billion budget hole, I have put the eradication of the Chupacabra on the list of emergency items for this session." said Perry at a press conference.
Perry continued, "As a sign of embracing Hispanics into the Republican party, we will address these important issues, brought forward by State Representative Aaron Pena (Peena) while we ask them for proof of citizenship, stuff their kids with cheap turkeys, and conduct "driving while brown" search and seizure.
It is estimated over 1000 chupacabras have been seen in the rural areas of Texas. Chupacabras, a pig like creature, have been known to roam in packs, digging up the ground with their long tusks looking for insects and roots. Over building has contributed to the problems as Texans destroy their natural habitat.
"Embracing Hispanics into our party has given us many rewards in Austin. Each morning we enjoy fresh baked pan dulce such as Pan de Huevo, Cuernos de Azucar, and my favorite, Marranitos. It is only fitting that we give back by wasting valuable resources on solving a problem that doesn't exist while making us look like we really give a crap about Hispanics and their stupid problems."stated Governor Perry's chief of staff.