In all the right-wing ruckus about Republican Jesus being born 100 years ago today, I think it's time we remember a truly great world citizen who was also born on this day - he of the Rick Roll, the one and only Rick Astley.
In celebration of Rick Astley's birthday, it's important to remember some things that Rick Astley would NEVER do:
- Give you up
- Let you down
- Run around
- Desert you
- Make you cry
- Say goodbye
- Tell a lie
- Hurt you
And in contrast to Republican Jesus, here are some other things that Rick Astley would NEVER do:
- Triple the national debt
- Support apartheid
- Back Saddam Hussein
- Crush worker rights
- Blow a bunch of money on Star Wars
- Back death squads throughout Central America
- Confuse old movies with foreign policy
- Trade arms for hostages
- Divert drug money to drug-running death squads
- Arm Osama bin Laden
- Have a lower approval rating than Jimmy Carter after leaving office
- Push supply-side economics
- Refuse to fund AIDS research
- Gut federal funding for poor college students
- Fire air traffic controllers
- Claim that trees cause pollution
- Eliminate federal funding for Planned Parenthood
- Start a War on Drugs
I think that given the alternative of celebrating the birthday of Rick Astley, as opposed to someone who DID do all of the aforementioned things, the choice is clear.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICK ASTLEY!