SAN FRANCISCO - After weeks of media speculation Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled his company's latest cutting-edge gadget: the iJob. Mr. Jobs displayed the device at the 2013 Apple Expo amidst a glittering array of new products, and explained its concept. The iJob will be intimately tied to the user's vocation - or lack thereof.
For those with work, the iJob will automatically tailor itself to suit the user's needs. Upon entering a job description, employment history, and education, the iJob will generate a customized resume and submit it to nearby qualifying positions of higher pay. Upon scanning a check, the iJob can synch direct deposit between most companies and banks. One of its flagship programs -already being hailed a killer app - tentatively titled the iWork, will interface with the user's computer and handle the more mundane tasks of office life.
For the 9% of this country still without employment, the iJob will search for work more aggressively. The iJob is more proactive than simply filing your unemployment checks. It will make frequent calls to business who are hiring. It will automatically search company websites for Off-Hours contacts. One of its most startling features is its "Intercept" app, where it provides by-the-second GPS coordinates of company recruiters.
The iJob was first brainstormed after a meeting with President Obama in February 2011, as part of a "high tech job surge program" still advocated by the administration. White House spokesman George W. Bush hailed the iJob while lowering expectations of economic growth in the months to come.
"I'm telling you this iJob... is a testament to the strength of the voyage on America. You know, look, the jobs. Hardworking people are going to have a hard time finding work." The former President and newly-appointed White House Press Secretary said on Thursday.
Can the iJob shock the United States out of its jobless recovery? The experts are split.
"Need to find a job? There's an app for that!" said tech industry analyst Colin Whitaker. "This is just the beginning. The iJob alone can't put a big dent in the jobless figures, but how bout when all the copycats jump on it?"
"No technical wizardry will bring the U.S. job market back on track." Economist Michael Hudson noted. "What is needed is real investment in industries. We need to pull back from FIRE systems and back to the model that made this country a powerhouse in the mid-20th century."
The iJob is set to break records on launch day, with pre-orders already numbering 1 million units.
Complaints that the iJob is being made in China have not been addressed by Apple.