For the last few years, I've intensively studied the field of Inhoffian Logic. Using $17,000,500 in Federal and state education grants, I've been able to nearly complete my studies of this fascinating train of thought created by Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe. I've got his logic down to a science, save for one (major) thing.
Using the vast resources available to me, I can successfully boil his logic down to one sentence:
If A disproves B, and I see any sign of A, then B is automatically disproven. Badoop.
See? Simple. Let's look a little deeper into his way of thinking, shall we? Jump the Soros Squiggle.
If you recall, back in December of 2009, the Washington DC area was pounded by the first of a train of blizzards that would wreak havoc on the region for weeks at a time. The lovely Inhofe family, in their hefty, mid-western herdy-goodness, hiked out to the US Capitol to build an igloo.
TPM recalls:
They officially dedicated the humble abode in honor of global-warming crusader Gore, even posting a cardboard sign on the igloo’s roof reading “AL GORE’S NEW HOME” on one side and “HONK IF YOU [HEART] GLOBAL WARMING” on the other. Inhofe, the ranking member of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, is famously one of Congress’ most vocal critics of global warming. And he told HOH that he found his family’s ironic tribute to Gore — which came during one of Washington’s snowiest winters on record — “really humorous.”
Inhoffian Logic dictates that if A (cold/snow) disproves B (global warming), and one sees any sign of A (cold/snow), then B (global warming) is automatically and thoroughly disproven. In other words...snow=cold=disproves global warming. Excellent!
Now here's the quandary. Look at this:
See that? The red is a blizzard warning, the pinkey-purpley color is a winter storm warning, and the mauve color is a winter weather advisory. There's a pretty significant blizzard happening in the upper-midwest right now. That's not totally unusual, what with it still being February and all.
The time of year notwithstanding, snow = cold = no global warming. Inhoffian Logic says it's so. Badoop.
But what about here in sunny Mobile, Alabama? Ah, there's the rub...
It's 80 degrees right now. It was 82 yesterday. How would Inhoffian Logic handle this? It certainly isn't normal for the northern Gulf Coast to be in the 80s in the middle of February. Our normal high for this time of year is 66°F. If Minneapolis is getting over a foot of snow, and snow disproves global warming, then what happens when a portion of the country is 15 degrees above average for several days in a row?
I would ask Senator Inhofe what's up with this, but I'm not a lobbyist or Ed Koch, so I don't matter. Badoop.Updated by weatherdude at Sun Feb 20, 2011, 05:36:15 PM
Title updated to reflect my zero knowledge of the French language. Thanks to thenekkidtruth in the comments for correcting me. :)