I met him 41 years ago when I was 18. I had wavy wild long blond hair. He had every hair in place. I was in love with his beautiful daughter. He was worried that she was in love with me. He was worried that she would get in trouble. He didn't say much. He talked softly. I had to listen carefully to hear him. But then, as always, had made a wry joke.
Less than a year later, just after turning 19, she told him we just got married. He had a wry smile. She wasn't pregnant.
Years later when he was blind and confined to a wheelchair, he never lost his wry humor. He was president of his fraternity in West Virginia and a favorite in the nursing home in North Carolina because of his charm.
He was a lifelong Democrat, a yellow dog's yellow dog. He believed in fairness to all. He believed in eduction. He believed in the public good. He believed in good government. He worked for the state of North Carolina.
We said goodbye to a public servant today.
He served the state of North Carolina by auditing the books of utilities. He was meticulous. When he was young, he never had a hair out of place. He helped keep rates fair. He helped keep the power companies honest. He served the people. He worked for less than he might have made for a private business so he could provide security for his family.
After their second daughter was born, his wife suffered severe postpartum depression that developed into bipolar disease. He went punctually to work every day to keep good state health insurance and bread on the table. His first daughter, who was 9 years older than the baby, tried hard to be an adult while he tried to get his baby's needs met. Other than help from his wife's parents he was on his own. His wife's sisters blamed him for her problems. They could never accept that she had a disease that was out of control.
Every weekday he kept to his schedule like clockwork. Every Sunday morning he got up early to take newspapers to the hospital. He tried to maintained stability through manic flames, weeks of bedridden tears, and multiple trips to the hospital. He was a government worker. He was a public servant.
He helped his daughters with their math homework. His first became a national Merit Scholar. His younger daughter excelled at math. He was very proud when his first daughter got her law degree. He was proud when she got her MD degree. He was very proud when his second daughter got her masters degree in Chemistry. His stable government job made it possible for him to provide stability for his family. He was a public servant.
He was very frugal. He carefully kept to the budget of a modestly paid state worker despite the burdens of paying for health care costs, satisfied that good health insurance and retirement benefits would protect his family. He proudly stood by his family through crisis after crisis. And when he retired he had state health benefits, Medicare and Social Security that paid for his and his wife's care even when he was unable to care for himself. He faithfully served the public. He faithfully served his family. And he was faithfully provided for in retirement by the state.
He was a public servant. He was a good and honest man. He was my father in law.
We took him to his grave today.