Liberal firebrand, singer-songwriter, spoken word artist, writer, publisher, actor, radio DJ, activist, and bohemian icon Henry Rollins, reads John Boehner for points in Vanity Fair on his decision to defend the indefensible Defense of Marriage Act.
In to save the day, to keep those damn gays in their place, is House Speaker John Boehner, who will put himself and his sterling reputation on the line to stand against the president, his insurgent gay terrorist pals, and their dreams of marriage and equal protection under the law. That’s a relief. When things threaten to become too constitutional, thankfully, there’s someone like John Boehner, owner of every third tear cried in America, to step in and attempt to push America back into the good old days of darkness. Rather than shoulder the awesome burden of creating some damned jobs in America, he goes for the easy cheap shot of going after gay Americans. Again.
Of course same sex marriage is constitutional! The right to be yourself, to pursue life, liberty, and property, is protected several ways over several amendments. John Boehner should know this. If only he read the Constitution as often as some of us do, he wouldn’t have bothered to lower himself to this time-wasting, pathetic attempt to invigorate his base of supporters.
Damn, congressman, we’re trying to get up the road here. Either lay out a plan for job creation for all of us to see or get out of the way. You are the Speaker of the House. Scratching around in the ancient dirt of repellent prejudice instead of tackling the real issues is amateur hour. You have a plan? Now’s the time.
I have an anecdote to share about Henry Rollins, and one of my youthful adventures not long after I arrived in New York City from the midwest.
Henry Rollins on left, author on right.
If I have a celebrity doppelganger, it's probably Henry Rollins. True story: one night long ago, I was at Siberia Bar, a landmark bar that was quite literally a hole in the wall. It was in the 50th Street Subway station on the 1/9 aka IRT line that runs up Manhattan's Upper West Side. Some stations have shoe-shine or barber shops in them, the 50th Street Broadway had a bar. Kind of secret-ish, if you didn't know you were looking for it, it was easy to walk right past, not even knowing there was a party going on just steps away.
A New York magazine article looked back fondly on the place upon the occasion of the release of a 2008 documentary:
"Oasis of lawlessness," "physically revolting," "a celebration of self-loathing." These are just a few of the phrases used to describe the now-shuttered dive bar Siberia in Jack Bryan's new documentary Life After Dark: The Story of Siberia Bar, which premiered at a KiptonART-sponsored screening at Soho House last night. "Siberia was the last stronghold of the New York bohemian," said Bryan. "It was sort of a place lost in time."
The bar first opened in 1996, in the 50th Street and Broadway subway station. After being evicted by the landlord there, owner Tracy Westmoreland, a former lifeguard who once worked the back door at Studio 54, took it to a bigger space at 40th Street and Ninth Avenue. There he reigned until September 2007, when the joint was give the boot for the last time. "Siberia was a high-school reunion of nasty," he told us fondly.
"The first time I went down into the basement I thought, How can there not be a body down there?" said author and book publicist Sloane Crosley. "It looked like Silence of the Lambs."
"Siberia was where you took your drunken freakness," Spiegelman explains.
I, myself, would occasionally get my drunken freakness on there.
It was maybe 1997. It was very late at night, or very early in the morning, and a clearly very drunk girl asked me if I was Henry Rollins? (I rather buff at the time and it was winter, so I was dressed sufficiently that my lack of tattoos was not obvious.) Well, so much of the drunken small talk we make in the wee hours with strangers is just so boring. So on a lark, I said yes. I know it's wrong to lie. And sometimes, it's fun to pull someone's leg. I was young, I was drunk! I had been offered the opportunity to be someone truly exciting!
I was doing her a favor, really. I was endowing her with the opportunity to have a real-life celebrity encounter. And my plan succeeded spectacularly. She introduced me to her friends, and for an hour or so, I pretended to be someone I was not and they bought me free beer.
I don't drink anymore. And I haven't pretended to be anyone I'm not since then. Like so many great NYC night spots, Siberia is but a memory, crowded off the island to make room for more luxury condominiums and Disney stores.
I guess I owe Mr. Rollins a few beers. And for this too, his awesome words of support. Thanks Henry. I promise I didn't say or do anything that would put your good name on Page Six.
Speaker Boehner is scheduled to hold a press conference today at 4:30 pm to address the topic of the DOMA defense going forward. Maybe someone will ask him how this creates jobs and helps the economy?
There may be some breaking news related to this story shortly before. Stay tuned.