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Continuing my thought process of yesterday's diary, Rep. ____ (R - Oligarchy), it has further occurred to me that even the individuality of Republicans in high office has become irrelevant to their official decisions: Basically, they operate as a malevolent hive with zero individual will, voting in lock-step the vast majority of the time, often taking positions they claim to personally oppose because their Party's masters command it.  It has come to the point where I don't think these people really even deserve to be referred to by their names anymore - at least insofar as performance of their office is concerned - because they are not actually behaving as individual citizens with recognizable minds.  So, I have created an alphanumeric catalog system for high Republican officials, and will be referring to them in those terms from now on.  

The form of the catalog reference is "Oligarchy Drone *#," where * is one of three letters - either S for Senate, H for House, or G for Governor - and the # refers to their alphabetical position among Republicans in that body (Governors are numbered by the alphabetical order of their states).  The catalog will not refer to Republican Presidents - because they tend to be actual Oligarchs, not mere drones of Oligarchy - nor members of state legislatures or executive bodies beneath governors, because they are far enough from actual power that individuality may still assert itself.  Nor does it cover Democrats who serve Oligarchy, because they tend to require a much higher level of political skill than their drone counterparts in the GOP, and thus do not really qualify as drones.

I am utterly serious about my intention to refer to Republican leaders from now on using this catalog.  At first blanch, it might seem like something that would require tedious memorization to know who is being talked about, but then one realizes that it really doesn't matter who - that's the whole point.  Eric Cantor, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, etc. etc. - can you honestly say you can tell these people apart by the absurd things they say and do?  Hence the Oligarchy Drone Catalog (ODC) - it keeps the relevant information front and center (i.e., that they're Oligarchy Drones) while reducing their illusory individuality to what it already is: A technicality.

"But," you may breathlessly complain, "what about all the moderate Republicans who vote sanely once in a blue moon?" Well, gosh, skippy, what about the wolf packs who accept and nurture orphaned prey animals as members of the family?  Shall we reconsider the designation of wolves as predators?  I've seen a wolf eat ice cream, but I'm guessing that isn't going to put their designation as exclusive carnivores in any kind of jeopardy.  So I'm not interested in hearing complaints that (insert name) is actually a great guy/gal who just happens to count themselves in the ranks of an openly fascist party.  

"Aren't you dehumanizing them?" you may ask, your lower lip trembling on the verge of a sob.  No, Moonbeam, they're dehumanizing themselves and everyone else, and I'm accurately categorizing what they do and how they impact American politics.  I don't care how "mavericky" you think they are - at most, they're a tool of distraction.  So, here then is the ODC, and I urge everyone to adopt it in referring to Republican officials - feel free to embed a link to this diary in the term "Oligarchy Drone" in doing so, in order to explain your reference to people who haven't seen it yet.  

Each name will be followed by its Drone code, but when referring specifically to a given drone, the proper form is to call them (for instance) "Oligarchy Drone H103" or "Oligarchy Drone S25."  After having already used the complete form, shorthand that includes only the code is acceptable - e.g., "S14 made a speech today proposing that homeless people be used as heating fuel."  This may lead to confusion with bill numbers, but preceding them with "House resolution" or "Senate resolution" should be sufficient distinction.  Obviously, once a given drone leaves office and another assumes it, a new person would have that drone code - which is pretty much exactly how the GOP functions.  Only actual Oligarchs are considered individual by the GOP (e.g., they would have leveled American cities rather than let Dick Cheney go to jail) - everyone else in the Party might as well be a production number.

Whenever your favorite douche in government is pissing you off, just remember this catalog when referring to them.  Instead of talking about John Boehner, try saying "Looks like Oligarchy Drone H021 is at it again," and see how satisfying it is.  Trust me, you'll find it both sweet to type and quite applicable to how these muppets behave.  Call a Borg a Borg.  And even if you don't find it quite comfortable totally replacing their names with catalog codes, at least note their code along with their name - it has a similar effect.  E.g., "John Boehner (Oligarchy Drone H021) is at it again."  

House of Representatives:

(Let me know if any of these people are Democrats who've been mislabeled, or if I've missed any Republicans)

Adams, Sandy............................................................................H001
Aderholt, Robert.........................................................................H002
Akin, Todd.................................................................................H003
Alexander, Rodney.......................................................................H004
Amash, Justin.............................................................................H005
Austria, Steve............................................................................H006
Bachmann, Michele......................................................................H007
Bachus, Spencer.........................................................................H008
Barletta, Louis............................................................................H009
Bartlett, Roscoe..........................................................................H010
Barton, Joe................................................................................H011
Bass, Charlie..............................................................................H012
Benishek, Dan.............................................................................H013
Berg, Rick..................................................................................H014
Biggert, Judy..............................................................................H015
Bilbray, Brian..............................................................................H016
Bilirakis, Gus...............................................................................H017
Bishop, Rob................................................................................H018
Black, Diane...............................................................................H019
Blackburn, Marsha.......................................................................H020
Boehner, John............................................................................H021
Bonner, Jo.................................................................................H021
Bono Mack, Mary........................................................................H022
Boustany, Charles.......................................................................H023
Brady, Kevin..............................................................................H024
Brooks, Mo................................................................................H025
Broun, Paul................................................................................H026
Buchanan, Vern..........................................................................H027
Bucshon, Larry...........................................................................H028
Buerkle, Ann Marie......................................................................H029
Burgess, Michael........................................................................H030
Burton, Dan...............................................................................H031
Calvert, Ken..............................................................................H032
Camp, Dave..............................................................................H033
Campbell, John...........................................................................H034
Canseco, Quico..........................................................................H035
Cantor, Eric...............................................................................H036
Carter, John..............................................................................H037
Cassidy, Bill...............................................................................H038
Chabot, Steve...........................................................................H039
Chaffetz, Jason..........................................................................H040
Coble, Howard...........................................................................H041
Coffman, Mike............................................................................H042
Cole, Tom.................................................................................H043
Conaway, Michael......................................................................H044
Cravaack, Chip..........................................................................H045
Crawford, Rick...........................................................................H046
Crenshaw, Ander........................................................................H047
Culberson, John.........................................................................H048
Davis, Geoff..............................................................................H049
Denham, Jeff.............................................................................H050
Dent, Charlie.............................................................................H051
DesJarlais, Scott........................................................................H052
Diaz-Balart, Mario.......................................................................H053
Dold, Robert..............................................................................H054
Dreier, David.............................................................................H055
Duffy, Sean..............................................................................H056
Duncan, Jeff.............................................................................H057
Duncan, John............................................................................H058
Ellmers, Renee...........................................................................H059
Emerson, Jo Ann........................................................................H060
Farenthold, Blake.......................................................................H061
Fincher, Stephen Lee..................................................................H062
Fitzpatrick, Mike.........................................................................H063
Flake, Jeff.................................................................................H064
Fleischmann, Chuck....................................................................H065
Fleming, John............................................................................H066
Flores, Bill.................................................................................H067
Forbes, J. Randy........................................................................H068
Fortenberry, Jeff........................................................................H069
Foxx, Virginia.............................................................................H070
Franks, Trent............................................................................H071
Frelinghuysen, Rodney................................................................H072
Gallegly, Elton...........................................................................H073
Gardner, Cory...........................................................................H074
Garrett, Scott...........................................................................H075
Gerlach, Jim..............................................................................H076
Gibbs, Bob................................................................................H077
Gibson, Chris.............................................................................H078
Gingrey, Phil.............................................................................H079
Gohmert, Louie..........................................................................H080
Goodlatte, Bob..........................................................................H081
Gosar, Paul...............................................................................H082
Gowdy, Trey.............................................................................H083
Granger, Kay.............................................................................H084
Graves, Sam.............................................................................H085
Graves, Tom.............................................................................H086
Griffin, Tim................................................................................H087
Griffith, Morgan..........................................................................H088
Grimm, Michael..........................................................................H089
Guinta, Frank............................................................................H090
Guthrie, Brett............................................................................H091
Hall, Ralph................................................................................H092
Hanna, Richard..........................................................................H093
Harper, Gregg...........................................................................H094
Harris, Andy.............................................................................H095
Hartzler, Vicky..........................................................................H096
Hastings, Doc...........................................................................H097
Hayworth, Nan..........................................................................H098
Heck, Joe................................................................................H099
Heller, Dean.............................................................................H100
Hensarling, Jeb.........................................................................H101
Herger, Wally...........................................................................H102
Herrera Beutler, Jaime................................................................H103
Huelskamp, Tim.........................................................................H104
Huizenga, Bill............................................................................H105
Hultgren, Randy.........................................................................H106
Hunter, Duncan D......................................................................H107
Hurt, Robert.............................................................................H108
Issa, Darrell..............................................................................H109
Jenkins, Lynn............................................................................H110
Johnson, Bill.............................................................................H111
Johnson, Sam...........................................................................H112
Johnson, Timothy......................................................................H113
Jones, Walter...........................................................................H114
Jordan, Jim..............................................................................H115
Kelly, Mike...............................................................................H116
King, Peter...............................................................................H117
King, Steve..............................................................................H118
Kingston, Jack..........................................................................H119
Kinzinger, Adam.........................................................................H120
Kline, John................................................................................H121
Labrador, Raul...........................................................................H122
Lamborn, Doug..........................................................................H123
Lance, Leonard..........................................................................H124
Landry, Jeff..............................................................................H125
Lankford, James.........................................................................H126
Latham, Tom.............................................................................H127
LaTourette, Steven....................................................................H128
Latta, Bob................................................................................H129
Lewis, Jerry..............................................................................H130
LoBiondo, Frank..........................................................................H131
Long, Billy..................................................................................H132
Lucas, Frank..............................................................................H133
Luetkemeyer, Blaine.....................................................................H134
Lummis, Cynthia..........................................................................H135
Lungren, Dan..............................................................................H136
Mack, Connie..............................................................................H137
Manzullo, Donald..........................................................................H138
Marchant, Kenny..........................................................................H139
Marino, Tom...............................................................................H140
McCarthy, Kevin..........................................................................H141
McCaul, Michael..........................................................................H142
McClintock, Tom..........................................................................H143
McCotter, Thaddeus.....................................................................H144
McHenry, Patrick..........................................................................H145
McKeon, Buck..............................................................................H146
McKinley, David............................................................................H147
McMorris Rodgers, Cathy...............................................................H148
Meehan, Patrick..........................................................................H149
Mica, John.................................................................................H150
Miller, Candice............................................................................H151
Miller, Gary.................................................................................H152
Miller, Jeff..................................................................................H153
Moore Capito, Shelley...................................................................H154
Mulvaney, Mick...........................................................................H155
Murphy, Tim...............................................................................H156
Myrick, Sue................................................................................H157
Neugebauer, Randy......................................................................H158
Noem, Kristi................................................................................H159
Nugent, Rich...............................................................................H160
Nunes, Devin...............................................................................H161
Nunnelee, Alan............................................................................H162
Olson, Pete................................................................................H163
Palazzo, Steven..........................................................................H164
Paul, Ron...................................................................................H165
Paulsen, Erik...............................................................................H166
Pearce, Steve.............................................................................H167
Pence, Mike................................................................................H168
Petri, Thomas.............................................................................H169
Pitts, Joe...................................................................................H170
Platts, Todd...............................................................................H171
Poe, Ted...................................................................................H172
Pompeo, Mike.............................................................................H173
Posey, Bill..................................................................................H174
Price, Tom.................................................................................H175
Quayle, Ben...............................................................................H176
Reed, Tom.................................................................................H177
Rehberg, Denny..........................................................................H178
Reichert, Dave...........................................................................H179
Renacci, Jim..............................................................................H180
Ribble, Reid...............................................................................H181
Rigell, Scott..............................................................................H182
Rivera, David.............................................................................H183
Roby, Martha.............................................................................H184
Roe, Phil...................................................................................H185
Rogers, Hal................................................................................H186
Rogers, Mike (AL).......................................................................H187
Rogers, Mike (MI).......................................................................H188
Rohrabacher, Dana......................................................................H189
Rokita, Todd..............................................................................H190
Rooney, Tom..............................................................................H191
Roskam, Peter............................................................................H192
Ros-Lehtinen, Ileana....................................................................H192
Ross, Dennis..............................................................................H193
Royce, Ed.................................................................................H194
Runyan, Jon...............................................................................H195
Ryan, Paul.................................................................................H196
Scalise, Steve...........................................................................H197
Schilling, Bobby..........................................................................H198
Schmidt, Jean............................................................................H199
Schock, Aaron...........................................................................H200
Schweikert, David.......................................................................H201
Scott, Austin.............................................................................H202
Scott, Tim.................................................................................H203
Sensenbrenner, F. James..............................................................H204
Sessions, Pete............................................................................H205
Shimkus, John.............................................................................H206
Shuster, Bill................................................................................H207
Simpson, Mike.............................................................................H208
Smith, Adrian..............................................................................H209
Smith, Christopher.......................................................................H210
Smith, Lamar..............................................................................H211
Southerland, Steve......................................................................H212
Stearns, Cliff..............................................................................H213
Stivers, Steve............................................................................H214
Stutzman, Marlin.........................................................................H215
Sullivan, John..............................................................................H216
Terry, Lee..................................................................................H217
Thompson, Glenn.........................................................................H218
Thornberry, Mac..........................................................................H219
Tiberi, Pat..................................................................................H220
Tipton, Scott..............................................................................H221
Turner, Michael...........................................................................H222
Upton, Fred................................................................................H223
Walberg, Tim..............................................................................H224
Walden, Greg..............................................................................H225
Walsh, Joe..................................................................................H226
Webster, Daniel..........................................................................H227
West, Allen.................................................................................H228
Westmoreland, Lynn....................................................................H229
Whitfield, Ed..............................................................................H230
Wilson, Joe................................................................................H231
Wittman, Rob.............................................................................H232
Wolf, Frank................................................................................H233
Womack, Steve..........................................................................H234
Woodall, Rob..............................................................................H235
Yoder, Kevin..............................................................................H236
Young, C.W. "Bill"........................................................................H237
Young, Donald............................................................................H238
Young, Todd..............................................................................H239

---

Senate:

Alexander, Lamar.........................................................................S01
Ayotte, Kelly...............................................................................S02
Barrasso, John.............................................................................S03
Blunt, Roy..................................................................................S04
Boozman, John............................................................................S05
Brown, Scott..............................................................................S06
Burr, Richard...............................................................................S07
Chambliss, Saxby.........................................................................S08
Coats, Dan.................................................................................S09
Coburn, Tom...............................................................................S10
Cochran, Thad............................................................................S11
Collins, Susan..............................................................................S12
Corker, Bob.................................................................................S13
Cornyn, John...............................................................................S14
Crapo, Mike.................................................................................S15
DeMint, Jim.................................................................................S16
Ensign, John................................................................................S17
Enzi, Mike...................................................................................S18
Graham, Lindsey..........................................................................S19
Grassley, Chuck...........................................................................S20
Hatch, Orrin................................................................................S21
Hoeven, John..............................................................................S22
Hutchison, Kay Bailey...................................................................S23
Inhofe, Jim.................................................................................S24
Isakson, Johnny..........................................................................S25
Johanns, Mike.............................................................................S26
Johnson, Ron..............................................................................S27
Kirk, Mark..................................................................................S28
Kyl, Jon.....................................................................................S29
Lee, Mike...................................................................................S30
Lugar, Richard.............................................................................S31
McCain, John..............................................................................S32
McConnell, Mitch.........................................................................S33
Moran, Jerry...............................................................................S34
Murkowski, Lisa...........................................................................S35
Paul, Rand..................................................................................S36
Portman, Rob..............................................................................S37
Risch, Jim...................................................................................S38
Roberts, Pat...............................................................................S39
Rubio, Marco..............................................................................S40
Sessions, Jeff.............................................................................S41
Shelby, Dick...............................................................................S42
Snowe, Olympia..........................................................................S43
Thune, John...............................................................................S44
Toomey, Pat..............................................................................S45
Wicker, Roger.............................................................................S46

---

Governors (alphabetical by state):

Bentley, Robert............................................................................G01
Parnell, Sean...............................................................................G02
Brewer, Jan.................................................................................G03
Scott, Rick..................................................................................G04
Deal, Nathan................................................................................G05
Otter, Butch................................................................................G06
Daniels, Mitch..............................................................................G07
Branstad, Terry............................................................................G08
Brownback, Sam...........................................................................G09
Jindal, Bobby................................................................................G10
LePage, Paul................................................................................G11
Snyder, Rick................................................................................G12
Barbour, Haley.............................................................................G13
Heineman, Dave...........................................................................G14
Sandoval, Brian............................................................................G15
Christie, Chris..............................................................................G16
Martinez, Susana..........................................................................G17
Dalrymple, Jack............................................................................G18
Kasich, John................................................................................G19
Fallin, Mary.................................................................................G20
Corbett, Tom...............................................................................G21
Haley, Nikki..................................................................................G22
Daugaard, Dennis..........................................................................G23
Haslam, Bill..................................................................................G24
Perry, Rick...................................................................................G25
Herbert, Gary...............................................................................G26
McDonnell, Bob.............................................................................G27
Walker, Scott...............................................................................G28
Mead, Matt..................................................................................G29

Poll

Biggest douche?

0%0 votes
0%0 votes
12%1 votes
0%0 votes
0%0 votes
37%3 votes
12%1 votes
0%0 votes
0%0 votes
0%0 votes
12%1 votes
0%0 votes
25%2 votes
0%0 votes
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| 8 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (7+ / 0-)

    The conundrum of stable democracy: Reform requires the consent of the corrupt.

    by Troubadour on Fri Mar 18, 2011 at 09:39:40 PM PDT

  •  You forgot Liberman (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour, Dave925, Larsstephens

    "We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children"

    by Lefty Coaster on Fri Mar 18, 2011 at 09:48:21 PM PDT

  •  I vote for Drone Pitts (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Dave925, Troubadour

    (PA-16...I'm sorry but I forget his Drone Number under your classification system: 021 or something?  Numbers mean zilch to me unless we're talking cash-in-pocket or paycheck-in-bank.  Those numbers mean something.)

    Over the past 30-odd years, the Democrats have moved to the right, and the Republicans have moved into a mental hospital. --Bill Maher

    by Youffraita on Sat Mar 19, 2011 at 01:02:23 AM PDT

  •  Oh Drat! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour

    How can I choose just one????? I mean they all suck so bad at the Plutocrats' mid-sections, front and rear, y'know what I mean?

    For real, if you gotta make me I have to go with H109, the Issa creature whose hand I have had the misfortune to be contaminated by. It was like being touched by the fish that announced Luca Brazzi's demise in The Godfather, only colder.

    The man practically telegraphed, "Why yes as a matter of fact I am a soul-less and vicious psychopathic monster."

    I shudder at the memory.

    "The rich will strive to establish their dominion and enslave the rest. They always did... they always will. . ." Governeur Morris

    by Dave925 on Sat Mar 19, 2011 at 02:50:21 AM PDT

  •  I vote G07. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Troubadour
    Departmental

    by Robert Frost - 1936

    An ant on the tablecloth
    Ran into a dormant moth
    Of many times his size.
    He showed not the least surprise.
    His business wasn't with such.
    He gave it scarcely a touch,
    And was off on his duty run.
    Yet if he encountered one
    Of the hive's enquiry squad
    Whose work is to find out God
    And the nature of time and space,
    He would put him onto the case.
    Ants are a curious race;
    One crossing with hurried tread
    The body of one of their dead
    Isn't given a moment's arrest-
    Seems not even impressed.
    But he no doubt reports to any
    With whom he crosses antennae,
    And they no doubt report
    To the higher-up at court.
    Then word goes forth in Formic:
    "Death's come to Jerry McCormic,
    Our selfless forager Jerry.
    Will the special Janizary
    Whose office it is to bury
    The dead of the commissary
    Go bring him home to his people.
    Lay him in state on a sepal.
    Wrap him for shroud in a petal.
    Embalm him with ichor of nettle.
    This is the word of your Queen."
    And presently on the scene
    Appears a solemn mortician;
    And taking formal position,
    With feelers calmly atwiddle,
    Seizes the dead by the middle,
    And heaving him high in air,
    Carries him out of there.
    No one stands round to stare.
    It is nobody else's affair

    It couldn't be called ungentle
    But how thoroughly departmental

    Read Top Comments every night at 10pm ET.

    by Dragon5616 on Sat Mar 19, 2011 at 10:37:39 AM PDT

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