It's that time of year folks! Fans across the country are evaluating the field, and preparing to see a huge decline in workplace productivity as they check to make sure that their brackets are still intact! Well, tonight is the official start as we release the tournament field and brackets for the 2011 Republican Outrage Tournament!
And with that in mind, let's jump right into the number one seeds - first, playing out of the Detroit region is your overall #1 seed, and I might say, a very appropriate #1 seed coming out of that region - UNIONS!
Yes, Unions lead the tournament field. After being relatively low on the Republican Outrage priority for a few years, Unions jumped back to the forefront this year with the situation over in Wisconsin. Joining Unions as #1 seeds - the next team coming out of the Washington, DC regional - NPR! That's right, National Public Radio. The NPR squad has flown a little bit under the radar with a steady stream of Republican Outrage, but the noise machine has really turned it up to 11 in recent weeks and that has elevated NPR to the top seed in the DC regional.
Not to be outdone, coming from the San Francisco regional - SOCIALISM! That's right - socialism has been a dominant outlet for Republican Outrage - namely from those with no idea to define the word, which constitutes about 98 percent of that party. But their continued impotent rage at the concept of Socialism has put it in the top spot.
Your final #1 seed, out of the Mombassa - er - Honolulu regional is Birtherism! Just when you thought that birtherism was going to fade away, some new players jumped into the game and have pushed the birther issue back to the forefront of outrage! Some say that the birther "controversy" is a staged controversy by the White House to make the whole Republican Party look bad. We'll see what happens when the brackets shake out.
Here is how the remaining matchups look:
(1) UNIONS vs. (8) WELFARE QUEENS
(4) FAMILY "VALUES" vs. (5) SOCIAL SECURITY
(3) BIG GOVERNMENT vs. (6) ACORN
(2) DEATH PANELS vs. (7) BARNEY FRANK
WASHINGTON, DC REGION
(1) NPR vs. (8) "LIBERALS PUNISH SUCCESS"
(4) NEW BLACK PANTHERS vs. (5) MEDICARE
(3) TAKING OUR GUNS AWAY vs. (6) ABORTION
(2) "TEH GHEY" vs. (7) NANCY PELOSI
SAN FRANCISCO REGION
(1) SOCIALISM vs. (8) WAR ON ISLAM
(4) "$200 MILLION A DAY" vs. (5) MEDICAID
(3) ILLEGALS! vs. (6) DRILL BABY DRILL
(2) LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS vs. (7) HOLLYWOOD
MOMBASSA - ER - HONOLULU REGION
(1) BIRTHERISM vs. (8) EDUCATION
(4) STIMULUS vs. (5) CLASS WARFARE
(3) TERROR BABIES vs. (6) GLOBAL WARMING
(2) DEFICIT MONGERING vs. (7) SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE
Now the brackets are released. It's just a matter of time until the tournament field clashes to determine once and for all, who - or what - is the 2011 Republican Outrage Champion!