So this is the latest installment in my weight loss journey. I wrote this at the end of February after I had lost 250 pounds. Things have slowed down for me considerably. I'm losing slowly, almost too slowly for me--I am impatient by nature and, like Veruca Salt, I want it NOW.
But, I'm dealing. I have a new bike, and once the weather gets good enough, I'll be riding regularly. So hopefully that will help a little. So enjoy this latest installment, and I hope I can shed light on what it's like to be going through this for those that don't have to.
Dated February 23, 2011:
So, I haven't written in some time. It's taken me quite a while to get to 250 pounds lost. I was warned this would happen. It seems I have hit a plateau. And it's a plateau in several ways.
But first, some good news. I managed to make the goal with a 6 pound loss in a week. AND, my doctor took me of my diabetes medication. I have to go on another medication to ensure I don't slip into insulin resistance, but my latest AC1 was 5. Which is in the non-risk for diabetes range. So we're going to see what happens.
Now on to my plateaus.
First, it's the obvious. The body gets used to things and the paradigm has shifted, so things start to "settle" Second, it's a mental thing as well.
I hadn't realized how hard of a job this is. My early success really boosted my confidence. Which was probably the best thing for me starting this venture. I have a tendency to need validation and instant results, and I sometimes get frustrated when that doesn't happen. And that frustration can sometimes lead to bad things.
So I had all this initial success. And I kept making progress.
And now it's tougher to get significant progress. I get frustrated with small losses. I'm impatient. I'm realizing I was probably a bit naive and over-thrilled by my initial success to realize one slight fact:
This is the hardest thing I've done in my life so far. Sure, there are other things that are more strenuous, require more manual labor, and other stuff, but this is a 24/7/365 process I have to deal with for the Rest. Of. My. Life. When I reach my goal, and learn about maintenance strategies, it may get easier, but I KNOW I'm only a burger away from starting back on the slide.
And that's NOT an option.
But mainly it's hard. Mentally hard. This is requiring a level of focus I once knew pretty well. Plus, this is the longest time I have focused on something big like this. And my slipping focus is seeing me make some choices that aren't necessarily for the best.
Now, I'm not going back to how I was. Nor have I changed my eating habits. I'm still very balanced, and I'm eating all the right things.
I am snacking more, however. But I'm not snacking on bad things. I'm just snacking more than I should be doing.
And of course it's cold. Which means I'm not going to the pool. But at least I currently have half the money needed for a bike. And I am definitely looking forward to riding it this spring.
But for now, I guess I am in some sort of mental plateau. Right now my habits are for a certain calorie level. Now, as I am at this plateau, I recognize the need to slightly alter them, in order to "jump start" the metabolism again. Can it be done? Yes, it definitely can.
So now, it's time to take a deep breath, and slog on forward to the end. Or to the Beginning.