GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please - join us! We kindly ask that politics be left out.
You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library at dKosopedia for a great list of stop-smoking links. Check it out! Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream.
A message to all quitters: you don't have to avoid GUS if your latest attempt to quit didn't work out. We won't give you a bad time and we consider the attempted quits as "practice" for the real quit.
We hear it all the time: "nobody's perfect!" And yet, how many of us take that sentiment to heart? I'm guessing the answer is "not nearly enough of us." Instead, many of us really struggle with our imperfections, either real or imagined. We're often our own worst critics; the first ones to hop on board whenever the You Suck Express pulls into the station.
We seize on and internalize critical narratives or labels. We obsess over our own flaws, even magnify them. Worse, we listen to other people project their crap onto us. Even if we push back, sometimes it sticks with us, and we start to hear that script in our head despite our best efforts.
Where do we learn how to do this? Because it doesn't start out that way for most of us. When we're little, our most favorite things are the most flawed ones: the favorite, raggedy-ass pair of jeans, the dog-eared book, or the beat-up, one-eyed, grungy stuffed toy or mangy security blanket. Not only do we not see the flaws as such, but it is often those very imperfections that make our favorites so wonderful: the worn-in softness of the jeans, the way the book falls open to your favorite part of the story, the perfect softness of the imperfect toy or holey blanket.
"The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw."
- Henry Ellis
To be honest, I'm a little wary of the too-perfect person, place, or thing. I'd much rather relax in an overgrown, rambling garden with a weathered fence and some beat-up garden furniture than try to enjoy myself in pristine, perfectly manicured surroundings. Martha Stewart probably wouldn't approve (her "imperfect" tableaux are always painstakingly constructed and reek of a stylist whispering "don't touch!") but oh well, c'est la vie!
I'm that way with art, interior design, fashion and music, too. I'd rather listen to the hiss and pop of old vinyl and tinny recordings of people with imperfect, passionate voices than download any number of pop automatons churning out cookie-cutter songs that are Auto-Tuned to within an inch of their lives. I like that the model for the Mona Lisa isn't perfectly beautiful, that Michelangelo's David has wonky proportions, and that you can sometimes see the hokey, old-fashioned special effects in a classic 1930s Hollywood movie. The rare clunky phrase in a favorite old book reminds me that a real person came up with those words, and a real editor might've had an off day and missed the correction, just like I do sometimes.
I'm nobody's idea of perfection, and I'm guessing neither are you (except, perhaps, in the eyes of someone who loves you without judgment, or finds your so-called flaws charming), and you know what? I am totally okay with that. My quirks and flaws are part of what makes me who I am. We're all a product of our history, most of us a bit worn down or scarred by life or circumstance. Those flaws are what make us unique, and that's a good thing, I think.
Because perfection is overrated. You are who you are, flaws and all, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."
- Confucius
The absolutely flawless GUS Buddy List:
1BQ, 3rdGenFeminist, Abra Crabcakeya, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alpha99, A Man Called Gloom, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, awkawk, b4uknowit, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bdizz, beatpanda, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, BlueJessamine, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, buddabelly, burrow owl, BusyinCa, Carol in San Antonio, CathodeRay, cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, ChurchofBruce, cinnamondog, citizenx, Cleante, Code Monkey, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, dadanation, dangoch, Dauber, Dauphin, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, DRo, droogie6655321, duckhunter, Eclectablog, EdgedInBlue, effervescent, El barragas, el vasco, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, FlipperWaves, flumptytail, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, Geiiga, Georgianna Darcy, glpaul, GN1927, gooderservice, gooners, gravlax, greylox, grndrush, GrumpyWarriorPoet, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, hold tight, hulibow, I love OCD, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, inventor, I said GOOD DAY sir, itsbenj, Jahiz, JamesEB, janl1776, JayinPortland, jayjaybear, jbou, Jeffersonian Democrat, jmadlc55, Joe's Steven aka Steven, john07801, johngoes, jsfox, JVolvo's Mom, jwinIL14, kai99, kailuacaton, kat herder, Kelly of PA, kestrel9000, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, Kodiak54, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, Lady Kestrel, ladypockt, Lahdee, langerdang, LarsThorwald, last starfighter, Laurie Gator, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, longislandny, luvsathoroughbred, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, marknspokane, maryabein, Matt Esler, mdemploi, Micburke, michael1104, Mikeguyver, MillieNeon, Minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, mjbleo, MnRaindog, Morague, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, nannyboz, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nick Zouroudis, notgivingup, NY brit expat, one pissed off democrat, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, OverTheEdge, paige, PaintyKat, paradox, parryander, Pennsylvanian, phrogge prince, Positronicus, post rational, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, racheltracks, randallt, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD, rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, rincewind, rkex, roadlion, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, Safina, SallyCat, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, sofia, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, StateofGrace, Statusquomustgo, sunbro, Super Grover, tallmom, Tay, teknospaz, theatre goon, The Eyewitness Muse, TheStoopingRabbit, TigerMom, tiredofcrap, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, Treefrog, triciawyse, trs, trueblueliberal, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, Vetwife, vgranucci, waytac, webranding, weelzup, Wes Opinion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, yet another liberal, Zotz
Had some experience with the effects of smoking?
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Diarists in regularly-scheduled time slots are listed in bold.
Mon PM: Vacationland (You Are Here)
Tue AM: Open
Tue PM: aoeu
Wed AM: Open
Wed PM: bgblcklab1 (we miss you Safina!)
Thu AM: FrugalGranny
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: flumptytail
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: effervescent
Sat PM: Open (ChocolateChris on Easter/April hiatus)
Sun AM: Open
Mon AM: Open
Help!! As you can see, lots of room on the schedule, especially mornings, and Sunday is wide open! If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting...one of those slots is surely calling your name. Not sure where to start? Go here to find out how to write a GUS diary the easy way, or just ask for help in the Butt Can!