WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
Whatever happened to Manners? I mean, am I the only one who still remembers how to be nice to people? Did some folks ever even learn?
There are only a few Message Boards I frequent. Two of them are moderated very well; one even has a Moderator who reads everything before posting. This site -- where I "work" as a Beta tester -- is moderated so tightly because the owner of the site (Stephen King) feels that anything with his name on it should meet a certain standard. And anonymous flame wars don't do that.The other moderated site also bears the name of (and is owned by) a celebrity, in this case a well-known musician and writer. It has a staff of Mods and Admins who keep things polite. They do a very good job since they hail from all over the world and can keep a near-constant eye on things. The third MB I spend time on is a fan site for a band. It has a staff of "Moderators" but it's most definitely not polite. It also tends towards a younger crowd.
Now, I don't want to be the old codger who says, "When I was a kid...." But I have noted that the main offenders when it comes to rudeness, ugliness, flame wars, name-calling, ad nauseum are younger folks.At least on this latter MB. And this phenomenon doesn't appear to be confined to any certain country, either, though the majority of members are from English-speaking countries. The worst infraction (for want of a better word) is the insulting of people who don't agree with you. Granted, we see some of that here -- and I'm not letting you off the hook, either (you know who you are even if I don't).
For example, this MB being dedicated to a long-lived band causes the inevitable divisions in "phases." You know; the old stuff was better, the new stuff sucks sort of thing. And that's perfectly fine - nobody has to agree on a subjective thing like music, nor will they. But it's one thing to say "I disagree" (and to even give some reasons why) and something else again to tell another that they are smoking crack because they like a song you don't. Or infer that they have their cranium in a dark place. Or many similar insults. For the love of gawd, it's music! A purely subjective art form. Liking something different is the whole reason we have music. Otherwise it would all be just one droning note forever.
The music areas are bad enough. But there is a Politics/News area on the MB. You think things are bad here? I don't recall anyone here posting a picture of another member's face placed where a horse's anus would be. Or ganging up on a member. Or gay-bashing. Or religion bashing. So, as you can imagine, I don't peek in there very often. Debate and discussion isn't welcome there. Name-calling and insulting is. And that's moderated?
The upshot being... whatever happened to manners? Has the Internet killed them? Is the cover of anonymity a greater influence than civilization? One has to wonder if these same people who delight in race-baiting or Photoshopping faces on animal's butts would be so brazen "IRL"?
Not that things are much better in real life. The dearth of politeness is becoming epidemic. People talk loudly on their cell phones regardless of where they are. I often see people at a cashier yapping away on their phones, barely acknowledging the person on the other side of the counter. And in their cars... it's illegal in my state to talk or text while driving. But that doesn't stop them. And in such cases, it's not simply an issue of manners but, quite literally, life and death. I can't understand why some people don't realize that a car is a big, dangerous machine that can kill in an instant.
Pushing, shoving, blocking walkways and aisles have become a problem, too. I often have to walk with a cane and find it difficult sometimes to maneuver in a crowd because of it. I have a 2-pronged defense, though; I say (loudly), "The words you're looking for are 'excuse me'" and if that doesn't work I trip them up with my cane. Oopsie.
I know that some parents do instill manners in their offspring. Or at least, I've heard that some do. But if I had a dollar for every ill-behaved child at a restaurant, theater, mall, ferry.... And I'm talking about kids old enough to be taught better; over the age of 5 or so. Shouting, running, coughing and sneezing openly, grabbing, staring... I hate to sound like Grandpa Simpson but there really is a limit to what everyone else should have to put up with in a public place.
Okay. I'm done. Now get off my lawn and tell us ----
So what's YOUR FP tonight?