With Osama bin Laden eliminated, Donald Trump fled the Sunday night taping of the “Celebrity Apprentice” as word leaked out that President Obama was out "to make Trump my bitch."
While not part of President Obama’s nationally televised address, a statement attributed to the president leaked out to the press, “Now that we got bin Laden, I’m fired up to make that wuss-faced twizzle my ‘ho.”
“Celebrity Apprentice” guest star, Meatloaf, told reporters Trump became visibly upset over Obama’s announcement of the successful execution of Osama bin Laden.
“Trump’s normally stoic face began to quiver before running out of the boardroom with a few aides,” Meatloaf recalled. “Within minutes, some CIA or Black Ops guys landed on the rooftop helipad. They swooped in to recover DNA from an 8 foot long hair left on Trump’s chair and took samples from a trail of urine running out the door.”
NeNe and Star Jones concurred with Meatloaf’s account, the first time the two agreed on anything.
While Obama contained any visible traces of anger during Trump’s ongoing attacks on the veracity of his citizenship, it was Trump’s stone-faced reaction during Obama’s roast of the mogul at the White House Correspondents' Dinner that was a turning point for the president.
“How dare he not laugh at my jokes?” the president told an aide after the dinner. “If those jokes couldn’t kill, maybe we need to try another plan.”
With the success of the attack on Osama bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan, the president asked the CIA to come up with a plan to “bomb into oblivion” Trump’s Mar-A-Lago mansion retreat in Palm Beach.
But now with the leak of the Obama’s demand for Trump’s “covertly-clad scalp”, The Donald has fled to an undisclosed location.
While reports had surfaced that Trump was staying with former Vice President Dick Cheney, it is believed the reality show host is now hiding out in Mammoth Cave, the only location big enough to contain Trump’s ego.