No, I haven't contracted a communicable disease--I'm thinking more about social/professional/intellectual isolation tonight.
WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here.
I'm supposed to be writing a dissertation, and I'm royally unmotivated. Uninterested, much of the time. Uncaring. Unable to work up the energy to sit down and write it.
Much of my issue, I think, is the result of what I'd call a professional (in the sense that I want this to be my profession) isolation. My school is 75 miles away; during the time I was taking classes, I actually drove 150 miles, round trip, four days a week. It was my choice to do that; after all, I live in a relatively low cost of living area, and the school is in a relatively high cost of living area. And I had a community of friends here, and to some extent a life here, and school is temporary, so it made sense.
The problem is that now, I am 75 miles away from some of my colleagues, and even farther from many, and I feel the lack of comradeship. Yes, I do have people with whom I can share my intellectual pursuits, but for the most part they're internet friends, all long distances away. I have really no one in my daily life who can discuss my topic with me, who even understands what I'm talking about when I tell them the title. Most of the people in my life can't get beyond asking a simple "how's it going?" followed by "how long does a dissertation have to be, anyway?" (Okay, and I actually met a guy in the laundromat once who had no idea what a PhD was.)
So I'm lonely--lonely for the chat and the sharing of books and ideas over coffee or beer, lonely for the people who understand the struggle. And I don't know how to change that.
Yes, it's possible to email/facebook/call those out of town friends to talk, but it takes significantly more time than just talking, and I lack the energy of being in an intellectual space. Attending other people's defenses, attending lectures, just hanging out in professors' offices and the library--I'm missing the vibe and the force that comes with those things. And I don't know how to get them--with the price of gas, driving very often to school is out; with a real job, the time it takes to travel there is a problem too.
So how can I get that academic energy back? Any ideas?