As part of the continuing tease that is Caribou Barbie, she’s on the road with her family and special guest Greta van Susteren for the “One Nation” tour. Just so we all understand her intentions, Sarah explained:
“This is not a campaign bus. This is a bus to express to America how much we appreciate our foundation and to invite more people to be interested about all that is good about America and to remind ourselves we don’t need to fundamentally change America, we need to restore what's good about America."
Glad we cleared that up. So it’s not a campaign trip, but it’s a little over the top for a family vacation. Most likely, it’s a roving photograph op for Caribou Barbie to show up in crowded places, decked out in expensive new clothes and sports gear. If Rolling Thunder is any indication, she won’t wait for an invitation, nor will she worry much about the true purpose of the event or venue. When the Wasilla Hillbillies roll into town, it’s their show, and they call the shots. “We the people”, it turns out, are just unpaid extras in the background.
The tour itinerary is being kept under wraps, with the suggestion that you log onto the SarahPAC site for continuing updates. Since most of us would rather spend time in a dentist’s chair than perusing that site, our intrepid researchers have uncovered the following information on upcoming tour stops to enable fellow Kossacks to avoid being swept under the “Rolling Blunder” bus:
Wednesday June 1
Morning - Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool “Water World”: the park comes alive as the wave generator turns it into surf city! Add live music, souvenir stands, and a food festival, and the kids will be begging to come back next summer!
Afternoon - Arlington National Cemetery: join the family as they bus in (separate bus, of course) some disadvantaged kids from the inner city and organize them in teams to collect as many flags as they can in five minutes. Everyone enjoys cooking “s’mores” on the Eternal Flame at JFK’s grave as the sun sets.
Thursday June 2
Morning – Blogging from the Road: follow the Tweets as Sarah shares her impressions on the true meaning of liberty and/or sleep deprivation
Afternoon/Evening - Gettysburg Battlefield Monster Truck Rally: when you’ve got this much open space, what could be better than the roar of exhaust as Todd and Sarah welcome the Monster Jam Trucks featuring “Maximum Destruction”, “Bounty Hunter” and “Gravedigger”. Country music concert and barbeque round out the evening with “special surprise appearances” by Grammy and CMA winners
Friday June 3
Morning - American Revolution Paintball Re-Enactment: after a rousing ATV ride along Paul Revere’s famous route, find out why Redcoats are not a good idea on battle day as Sarah, Todd, and the kids get into the action on the Lexington Battle Green.
Afternoon – Tall Ship “Sail”, Boston Harbor: join the family for an afternoon of fresh air and fun on the water as we retrofit these majestic ships with a bank of Yamaha 250’s on the back like we do “back home”.
Saturday June 4
Morning and afternoon – shopping in New York City (private event for family only)
Evening - Statue of Liberty – Ellis Island Jet-Ski tour: for a $10,000 donation to SarahPAC, you can join the family for a private tour around New York Harbor that will make the most of your limited time. Your donation includes an autographed photograph of Caribou Barbie in a wet suit.