Tampa Bay (Hydrant at Daily Kos) -- Spectators at SeaWorld were amazed and delighted when Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann jumped onto the stage, and started barking like a seal, and clapping her hands.
Startled, at first, a spectator threw down a fish, and Bachmann caught it in her mouth.
The audience burst into laughter and applause. Even the seals seemed pleased in the end, after getting over their initial territorial competitiveness.
Although, there were a few tense moments at first, when some of the seals seemed resentful over Mrs. Bachmann taking their fish. Audience members, and Bachmann's ever experienced campaign aids, quickly came to the rescue and began to throw so may fish, that she couldn't keep up; even with the assistance of the entire stage of seals, creating an awkward moment, she fell and was covered with fish.
The ever cheerful Representative Bachmann recovered her wits, and made a joke out of the faux pas by flopping around like a fish she screamed, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up." A campaign staffer, who wishes to remain anonymous, explained this was Bachmann's favorite joke whenever Paul Ryan's Medicare proposal comes up. All of Bachmann's field staff are ever vigilant to keep up with her signiture spontanious nature.
Bachman jumped up again, barking, and the show was a great success. The seals seemed happy that Bachmann was able to pull in many more fish than their normal performance. The show ended on a happy note, when one of the happy seals, came over and planted a big fish kiss, right on Michelle's pucker, as if to welcome her onto their team.
Representative Michelle Bachman Attends Her Great Aunt's Funeral With Her Brother
I was just reviewing my politics of personal destruction folder on the possible 2012 GOP Presidential Candidates, trying to think of the most devastating captions.
I need to have a complete portfolio of such captions ready by the day she announces, so any help is appreciated.
Can you our anyone think of anything better?
Obviously, I'll write a better story, like for Onion, or here, if we can draw the right crowd.
That's the easy part. I'll also have the election stuff in the background taken out of the photo, and replaced by a SeaWorld shot, with some seals, and a stage, and a bunch of fish flying around.
It's best if the image gets in to the viewers mind, before we bullet the subjective experience with the headline label.
Harder is coming up with the theme that frames her personality, in the most ridiculous, and derogatory way, and can go viral fast, to the late night comics. And, also that offends the fewest sensitivities as possible.
One of these marginal candidate is ridiculed for a few weeks, their reputation sometimes never recovers. I would feel worse if it were not that we just highlighting real characteristics for these potential presidential candidates as a public service before they get elected president.
I tried to warn folks about President Bush, but was too "sensitive." Sorry, I promise not to let this happen again. I also work the "high road" of policy debates, but as we saw with former President Bush, that sometimes takes too long, as a sizable fraction of our population doesn't resonate on those frequencies.
Sad, I feel sorry for her, and morally guilty.
But, Presidential bids are hardball politics, at it's worst.
Every night I pray and ask God and Mahatma Gandhi for forgiveness.
But, a dogs has got to do, what a dawg has got to.
And, under this friendly a cute exterior is an old,
skilled attack dawg, who can bite as hard as any of the Republicans.
So, you don't have to.
Any ideas are appreciated.
And, photos too. I upload mine to Photobucket now, but I understand we might have a secret location here at Daily Kos. This place is so big now, I don't even know where all the good places are and I' ve been here six years, or so.