The political world was shocked at its foundations this afternoon, when it was revealed that the man behind the Big Hollywood web site, Andrew Breitbart had said something true.
"I'm as surprised as any of you," said the 42-year-old publisher and commentator. "When someone told me that Representative Wiener had tweeted a picture of a boner in his undies, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Naturally, I published it immediately."
Several of the individuals associated with publicizing the notorious tweet turned out to have criminal and arrest records. When they quickly ducked for cover, many people interpreted this as evidence of a scam. One of these suspicious characters, Mike Stack, came out of hiding after Wiener's press conference. "For real?" Stack said to an AP reporter who reached him by phone, "Some chick sent me a photo of some guy's pecks and said, 'These are Anthony Wiener.' I didn't buy it for a second and was wracking my brain for a way to pin this on Wiener. Then this YFrog tweet thing happened, and I was all, 'sweet'!"
Stack explained that everyone knew the YFrog had a security hole and he assumed that some other operative had managed to use it to frame Wiener. "It made my job a lot easier," Stack added, "but I never would have guessed any of this was real."
Reached for comment, the Breitbart blogger who broke the story, Dana Loesch, was quoted as saying, "I'm going to be on TV!"
In a tearful press conference today, Anthony Wiener took responsibility for sending the tweet as well as other inappropriate communications. He apologized for "all the damage" he had done, saying, "I can only plead forgiveness for making Breitbart look like a hero. Now that asshole will never shut the fuck up and for that, I am truly, truly sorry."
Naturally, Breitbart was in high spirits. "I never thought I'd ever say anything true; this is really a shocker."