Theodore Kaczynski was right.
For the most part, the Industrial Revolution has been a disaster for the human race.
Too much technology, too fast.
Too much heartache for everyone.
It is time to simplify our lives.
It's time for a change.
It is time for the Brave Old World.
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Poet and novelist Rudyard Kipling wrote in his 1919 poem The Gods of the Copybook Headings
And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new old world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins...
As many of you may recall, a few months ago I had almost appointed myself Maximum Leader so as to bring some order to our jumbled, confused, and incoherent online lives. Well, it is time for decisive action.
Here's a reminder.
The Daily Kos Hierarchy
1. Anyone with a User ID (UID) of three digits of less is either an Overlord or Overlord-in-Waiting. A few are even legends in their own minds!
2. Users with UID's over three digits are all Proles.
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It is way past time for someone to issue a new decree. That's what leaders do. Social media is all hype and no substance. It is decidedly asocial. All these new tools do is intrude upon our privacy, make us super hyper, and add to our insecurities. We need peace and quiet in our lives.
As the Eagles said a long time ago in "Hotel California," 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device(s).'
Effectively immediately and under the powers vested in me by millions of my followers on this blog, all of these "new media" tools are banned.
1. Twitter - it's nothing but trouble. We don't need it.
2. Facebook - I don't need to know every damn time you pet your kitty or go to the loo. Spare me the details.
3. Internet - it is just a wasteland. Contrary to their inflated opinions of themselves, there are no potential Shakespeares online.
4. iPhones - I don't need any new gizmos that cause cancer.
5. Reddit, MySpace, Delicious, Digg, StumbleUpon? - Blah!
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Given that we as members of the human race are naturally disposed towards inane chatter, what to do now? We all crave stability. We love predictability. Not to worry. These are the JekyllnHyde-approved new modes of communication on Daily Kos. It is for your own protection. Months from now, you will all thank me.
1. Cave Engravings - a tried and true method of communication. It worked beautifully for several millennia.
2. Carrier Piegeons - They were cheap, extremely reliable, and believed to be used frequently by brilliant men like Genghis Khan.
3. Messenger Riders - saved our nation. The country's eminent historian, Professor Sarah Palin of Idaho State University, even said so.
4. Telegraph - yeah, you can't send pictures on it but, still, it works just fine. It's better to be safe than sorry.
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One final note. As a one-time exception to my new decree, I have tweeted and emailed all of my followers so as to make them aware of this literary masterpiece.
If you don't pay any attention to it, it will certainly be your loss.
Enough said.
Now, go recommend this diary and shower me with praise.
Otherwise, you all suck.