By now, it has become painfully obvious that where there's smoke, there's fire, and that apparently in this case the smoke is billowing from Anthony Weiner's pants. Most of us who have been paying attention to the colossal waste of bandwidth and journalistic workhours known as Weinergate (and, sadly, more than a few of us who have been trying, with varying degrees of success, not to pay attention to it) are now aware that the Distinguished Gentleman from New York has admitted to sending pictures of various parts of his body, including his not-quite-as-distinguished-but-still-surprisingly-large little gentleman, in various stages of dress and/or undress to a handful of women via the internet, and to lying about his earlier denials.
Those among us who have spent the last few days defending the congressman, along with many of us who haven't but who will unfortunately share in his suffering because we happen to occupy the same quadrant of the Political Compass as he does, are undoubtedly at one stage or another of the grieving process. A few of us are probably at denial, the starting point, and to those folks I would say, pull your heads out and get moving because you're falling behind. Most of us are probably at anger, and to those folks I would say, make sure your anger is directed at the right people, and make sure that Rep. Weiner is one of those people. Some of us have moved on to bargaining -- "Please, god, let there be pictures of Andrew Breitbart's tiny, misshapen penis floating around on a hard drive somewhere waiting to be made public (or at the very least, pictures of the pasty, stretch-mark-scarred folds of fat that overlap his penis when he removes his clothing)." Or, "Please, god, let Rush Limbaugh get caught cavorting with one of his underage rentboys during his next Viagra-Oxycontin-and-Whisky-fueled sex vacation to the Dominican Republic. And let there be camera crews there when it happens." To those folks, I would say, "Ewwww. Don't." And then I would swallow down a little vomit. Some of us are already at depression, and most of us who are currently at anger will probably be getting to depression before too long; I imagine that more than a few of us will get bogged down there and stuck for a while. To those folks I would say, do NOT waste your grief on this. There are far more horrible things taking place in the world to grieve over. Just ask the guy sacking your groceries -- three years ago, he was probably a real estate agent.
My goal in this diary is to get you past all of these potential pitstops and moving toward what should be your ultimate destination, acceptance. Acceptance involves coming to terms with what has happened and preparing yourselves for the consequences in its aftermath, but it also optimally involves learning what you can from the experience. And so, with that in mind, I offer a few things that we should all take away from Weinergate:
1) Don't take a picture of yourself, or for that matter of someone you care about, unless you are willing to live with the statistical possibility that the picture you've taken might become a matter of public record at some point in the future. It doesn't matter how much you think you can trust the person (or people) that you have distributed the picture to, and it also doesn't matter if the picture is in digital format when you pass it on. Sometimes your trust ends up being misplaced, sometimes even the people you can trust make mistakes, and sometimes shit just happens. If you're tempted to take a picture of your schlong (or, for women, pretty much any unclothed part of your body that a bikini might cover), and you don't want a person or group of other people seeing that pic or knowing that it exists -- don't. Just don't. Or if you do, understand that you and/or those in your circle of life might be embarrased or otherwise hurt if and when that picture surfaces.
2) Don't do anything on the internet unless you are willing to live with the statistical possibility that your activity might become a matter of public record at some point in the future. See #1. Yes, there are ways to cover your tracks and/or minimize the likelihood that your privacy will be breached. But nothing is foolproof, and the possibility of betrayal and/or shit happening increases in proportion to the number of people involved. Weigh the value of what you're doing against the risk of exposure, and act according to your best interests. And be honest with yourself about what your best interests are.
3) Unless the person/people you're thinking of sending them to has either asked you for them or given you express permission to do so, do not -- repeat, DO NOT -- send pictures of your junk to other people. I shouldn't have to explain this one, I hope.
4) If you are in a committed relationship with another person, unless that person has either asked you to or given you express permission to do so, do not -- repeat, DO NOT -- send pictures of your junk to third parties. Again, I'm hoping this one doesn't need an explanation.
5) If you've done one (or more) of the above things and you're asked about it, don't lie. You might respond that it's none of their business, and it might actually not be. And if you're really lucky, this might even end the discussion. But if it doesn't (and, let's be honest, it probably won't), and if you're ultimately forced to make some sort of definitive statement, then tell the damn truth, because odds are that it will come out regardless of what you say. In fact, if you're being asked about it, odds are that it already has. People generally have more patience for someone who has done something wrong and who admits to their wrongdoing than they do for someone who has done something wrong and who lies about it -- especially when others might be hurt in some way by what they've done.
6) When you find yourself inclined to defend a politician who has been accused of wrongdoing, whether that wrongdoing involves one of the first 4 points I mentioned above or something else, don't actually do so unless you (a) have conclusive proof that the politician is innocent, (b) have an airtight argument that what the politician is accused of having done isn't wrong, or (c) are willing to live with the statistical possibility that the politician in question actually did what he/she is accused of having done and (if proclaiming innocence) is lying about it, and are likewise willing to live with the inevitable embarrassment that comes from defending such a politician.
7) Before you defend a politician who has been accused of wrongdoing, weigh the value of the time and energy that you might spend doing so against the true value of that politician to your political beliefs and goals, taking care to make sure that your reckoning of that value is honest and not distorted by sentiment or misplaced loyalty. Remember that, in all likelihood, the downfall of one politician will not mortally discredit the political values that the two of you share, or the political party or movement that the two of you belong to. And if it does, then you and the ideas/party/movement with which you are affiliated have problems that go way beyond that one politician, and you thus have far more important things to be directing your time, energy, and emotional commitment to. Remember also that a politician who has done something wrong in all likelihood will ultimately fall, if he/she is destined to do so, regardless of your efforts to prevent it from happening. By wedding yourself to someone who doesn't deserve your support, you run the risk of compounding whatever damage that person's wrongdoing has created.
What Weiner has done will inevitably create political pain for those of us on the left, but if we look upon this as a learning experience, it can also give us knowledge that may be of great value to us going forward. I hope that I've contributed something of value in posting this diary.
7:19 PM PT: "Anthony Weiner's Penis" now shows up as one of my most frequent tags on my profile page. I'm not sure whether I should be proud or embarrased of this. I'm leaning towards embarrased...