We've given the world a number of time-release 9/11s in the last decade. Haven't we paid those terrorists, or at least whomever was handy, back enough already?
It's been hard to find the polling data, but I'd bet big that there are people all over the world terrified of us at this point. And contrary to expectations of our most sophisticated political and military people, folks all over the world look forward to the day they can stick a thumb in our eye. Many more than there used to be.
Not just the people terrified of something American flying by, but the other people who think we are next on their list. Like the Chinese and the Russians. (And I don't think the Saudis really love us either.)
I know these days the war ain't called the 'War on Terror,' and thank heavens for that for that was an atrocity against common sense. They have a new name. "War for Happy Good Things" or something, I'd guess. But somehow, changing the name, but doing most of what we did then, ... ah, well, you can call it "change," sure. But you have to stick to the world of "What Things Are Called" to have it be true. I mean you could say "Toaster Ovens are Spaceships" too, and then you'd have a new name for Toaster Ovens. But once you get into real life, the word doesn't apply for the most part.
So a war which, everyday, makes us more enemies than we had the day before. You think that's dumb?! Get a load of this: the Plan seems to be to keep doing this, like, for decades. Like, anywhere. No matter the cost.
Apparently so that we can all have the security of having our kids virtually strip-searched and their pictures traded about on the internet among creeps and perverts. And in the meantime thoroughly help to bankrupt the nation, and take away services to the people.
Maybe it's just me, not being a pragmatist and all, but it seems our political/military leadership has things all upside down. I think we should just stop all these wars, and positioning ourselves around the world for these and possible future wars.
But that's not Outlandish Idea 1.0.
* * * * *
The War on Drugs ain't going so well. Well, it's going alright for the Bankers, because losing that war lets -- no exaggeration -- most of a trillion bucks, if not trillions every year go through the Bankers sticky fingers. It's sort of great, because even though there's a War going on, if you're a banker who is caught, you're fined a percentage (likely single-digit) of your take and you get no criminal charges. You have to promise to never get caught doing that again. (Rumor is that if you offer 3.1% to the soldiers in the War on Drugs, they'll personally deposit your profit in a secret account somewhere.)
So, at least, the Bankers are winning the War on Drugs.
So are the drug dealers. So much so they can use their money to buy all these great guns and, oh, politicians and sheriffs and stuff. (And how long before our great thinkers see a connection between this and terrorism?)
Another positive effect of the War on Drugs is that apparently this wonderful economic system which rains blessings on us even this day is dependent on drug money. People tend to get all negative about the War on...
Ah, that's such a tired old name. Maybe there's the problem. It needs a new name. Maybe something like:
"The War on Things Which Provides a Revenue Stream for Bankers if We Make Them Illegal."
Okay, I know someone out there is thinking: "But, but, doesn't the war on drugs help imprison significant percentages of the Black and Latin social groups, and out of all proportion to actual drug use by Whites & Asians? And of those, it does, after all, get the poorer ones and dissidents often. So doesn't that lead to more felons in those communities losing their vote? Better control of potential trouble-makers? How can that not be called a good outcome for the War on Drugs?"
Unfortunately that someone can't be beaten with a lead pipe.
We forget the War on Drugs is three, three, three wars in one. WoD, War on Race, and War on Culture.
There is another criteria, which is "actual drug use." In the decades of this War, drug use goes up and down, but the overall trend keeps getting higher and higher. But in real dollars prices go down. The near-trillion or more dollars bankers launder come from someplace and that's drug customers ultimately. So there's another measure it isn't working well.
It takes more to have a prisoner than it does to teach a few school-kids, and our prisons are overflowing because of drug sentences. This is good for the ever-more-privatized Prison Business. So there's an achievement. Plus, they work cheap.
Wild as it sounds, it looks the War on Drugs is an omni-dimensional failure. Excepting for the Bankers, the Spies, Prison Owners, and that group of Drug Dealers who are always getting their competition knocked off by governmental action. I say, let's quit this War.
But that's not Outlandish Idea 1.0.
* * * * *
The War on Poverty, now there's a war we quit fighting. The Wars on illiteracy and hunger, hell we adopted the White Flag as our National Banner when we started to fight those. That was easy enough, I don't see why we can't kick the ones we are clearly losing.
Folks, we need to think outside the coffin. That's why I bring you
The wars we are fighting can be grouped together under the heading "The War to Commit National Suicide." At least the results would agree with the name.
We should stop that uber-war and fight the one War we need to fight; which we can win in days if not hours; and which will have these results:
This is the War which:
• destroys terrorist networks
• devastates spy networks
• impoverishes the world's corrupt politicians
• ravages Mafias of all nations
• robs drug-money launderers of their take
• cripples the illicit arms trade
• ruins corrupt business people and Corporations
• recovers money which should be paid in taxes
• strikes a blow against every tyrant on earth, personally
• solves the deficit problem completely
• pays off the national debt
• gets the social safety net funded for a decade
This war needs at most a brigade of marines for a week, and all our hackers from all of our secret police and military.
We must beg Congress to declare this,
The War On Secret Accounts.
This is the War Which Works, brothers and sisters. It works on so many levels.
Whether the Cayman Islands, Liechtenstein, Switzerland,... we know where people go to hide their ill-gotten gain. We hack them, and transfer the funds to our treasury. The Marines get air-dropped in to go through the deposit boxes. We take them all.
Sure, there's the honest exec somewhere who is saving to surprise a spouse with their own Jet. But this is War and War is cruel and has collateral damages. File a recovery then, stop whining.
What are the Liechtie's gonna do? Wear double lederhosen? The Caymans? Enjoy the beach anyway? This is an in-and-out, done-and-over military adventure we're talking about here. This sets the world straight, or at least straighter, what with all the evil-doers hobbled and ruined.
There are some people who are too squeamish for War out there saying "But what about the Law?" What freakin' America do you live in? We don't look back. After we've done this, this will be in the past, so okay. You're thinking too far ahead. When you say "National Security," you've said the opensesame which unlocks all doors to all possible deeds. Stop whining and buck up!
And there, we have Outlandish Idea 1.0. There will be others.
* * * * * * * * * *
hat tip to birdbrain64 who pointed out this was published on Prince's birthday. You might remember how he stopped using his name and insisted on being called "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince" so a hat tip to Price and Happy Birthday.
* * * * * * * * * *
I might not be here when this publishes, but I will respond to the comments as soon as possible.
Oh, and from long ago and far away. The more things change the more they stay the same. But with inflation and compound interest, the numbers get bigger over time.