To start with the question - whenever I see stories that equate homosexuality with pedophilia, (or in the Tracy Morgan case, equating homosexuality with general child abuse), should I mention the equating process? The reason I ask ...
My story begins with the fact that I am a psychological researcher. Sometimes, I assist in clinical psychology research (as in therapy, not medical). “Clin-Psy” research is not my passion, but I have worked with clinical psychologists professionally.
One day, I was talking to one of the clinical psychologists, and told her a couple of stories from my childhood. She told me that I was emotionally abused when I was a child. I did not take her seriously, and I even made some jokes about her treating me like a patient. We went back and forth a couple of times, and she started telling me how it was common for children to grow up with a misunderstanding of some things that happened to them. She then told me about a case study she had read. (She also gave me a copy of it, but I am not able to find it, so I have to summarize it very generally.)
An adult male starts going to a therapist because he is having marriage troubles. He does not want to be there, but he has been threatened with a divorce if he does not “get some help.” He goes to therapy just so he can tell his wife he is going.
The patient slowly and begrudgingly starts working with the therapist. Over several sessions, he gradually starts to talk about the marriage problems, then gradually gets to sexual problems in the marriage, then gradually starts to present the sexual problems as the primary source of tension in the marriage.
One day, the patient tells the therapist that, as a boy, he was molested by an adult male. The patient tells the story, but he does not describe the event as if he was a child being molested by an adult. Instead, he describes it as an event in which a “man” (as in a “real man”) accuses him of acting like a homosexual, and then “punishes” him for acting homosexual.
At that point, the therapist starts to explain that the event was not an act of being punished for acting too homosexual (or “not being a real man”), but an act of a pedophile molesting a child. The accusations of homosexuality were just a means for the adult to disguise the true nature of the deed.
The therapist helps the patient understand his experience as an act of a child being molested by a pedophile, not as punishment for acting homosexual. The patient gets better, the marriage gets better, bla bla bla, I’ve said what I need to say.
That story is just one of many examples of how children can grow up misunderstanding the things that happened to them. For me, though, that particular story is how I started to understand the whole concept of misunderstanding my own childhood experiences. I did not recognize my father’s emotional abuse as “abuse” for decades. I was literally giving my father a safe hiding place for his abusive tendencies, because I did not distinguish it from strict parenting.
That was almost three years ago. Ever since then, some things would remind me of the story. I usually remember it whenever I find someone equating homosexuality with pedophilia. Those moments would stick with me, because I know how pedophiles have a hiding place among kids who do not learn to distinguish the two.
(FYI, studies show that the vast majority of homophobes do not have a history of childhood sexual abuse. Estimates vary, but are similar to that of the general population – commonly estimated at 10% to 15% of the population).
Here in the friendly confines of dailykos, I would occasionally run across news events that included acts of equating homosexuality with pedophilia. When California’s Proposition 8 returned to the news last summer, I made a comment about it. In short, I said that if homosexuality is legalized and accepted, then people will be more likely to see it for what it is, and stop equating it with pedophilia. As a result, it gives pedophiles one less “place to hide.”
I was not expecting praise for mentioning an often-overlooked positive result of gay rights. I was also not expecting responses that dismissed the existence of the problem … and that was the main response I got. I mentioned a real issue, and the most positive response was to appreciate my support, but dismiss the problem as a “weird focus on pedophilia.”
… but life went on. I did not take issue with anybody, but I hesitated to say anything when I saw the equating process going unaddressed. That lasted for several months. Then in the March 5th hate-mail segment, I saw a hate mail that talked about “the faggot/pedophile lobby” (as an entity that Obama answers to). I had to make a comment. I also posted a link to a video made by NAMBLA, showing members of NAMBLA trying to include themselves in a gay-rights parade. (Since then, I cut out the important clip, just for this diary) … There was a complete lack of response. Nothing positive, nothing negative, not even a +1 for making a unique point (and the hate-mailapalooza section is where I earned my “trusted user” status).
… but again, life went on. That was not the only comment I made, but collectively, I felt like the response to my comments were to casually ignore them. I was discomforted by the idea that the subject might be taboo on dailykos, but I started ignoring the topic again.
Then came today's Tracy Morgan scandal. I read about how Tracy bashed homosexuals for several minutes on stage, and the homosexual community was outraged. I read about how Tracy Morgan specifically stated that if he had a boy that acted homosexual, he would abuse the boy for acting homosexual. None of the stories I read (multiple sites) correctly isolated that comment as child abuse. It was almost the exact same story as the one I mentioned above – abusing a child for acting homosexual, and treating it as punishing homosexuality, not as abusing a child.
I did not care to walk away from that story. I did not want to make any direct statements, so I made a very general question asking if the gay-rights community should more actively distinguish themselves from pedophiles. I made sure the question was not leading to any specific answer. All of the responses were either suspicious of my motivation or flat-out hostile accusations that I am trying to accuse homosexuals of molesting children.
So I leave it to you. When I see a news story that passively equates homosexuality with pedophilia or child abuse, should I point out the equating process?
Also, if you already read about Tracy Morgan, did you distinguish the comment about abusing his child from the homophobia? Do you think it makes a difference to distinguish the two?