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Kidney Stones

Sung to the tune, “Cover of the Rolling Stone”

Well, I'm a big tough guy,
But thought that i would die,
When I got sick the other night,
I thought, "I'm in trouble!",
I was bent over double,
And my wife was sick with fright.
 She threw me in the car,
Sped right to the E.R.,
And they did every test that is known,
Oh, I cried like a baby,
Cause there ain't no maybe,
The doc said I have a kidney stone!
Kidney stone,
Oh man, it's a pain like no other,
Geez Louise! It's hurtin' like a mother!
Gonna go right out of my mind,
If I don't pass this kidney stone!!
Now I do like kisses, and I love my missus,
But right now I don't need hugs,
Just pour me glasses of water,
And pass me that vial of drugs.

Now I never thought,
I could be this distraught,
This sure is no way to live!
I sit here drugged and loopy,
With eyes red and droopy,
And they got me pissing through a sieve!
 Normal urination,
Would bring such elation,
If I could get this damned thing to pass,
Being sick is such a bummer,
To hurt like this is a pain in the ass.

I've got a busy life, with the kids and the wife,
But right now it all must be postponed,
This pain in my gut,
Really kicked my butt,
So, for now, I'm just gonna stay stoned.


© Donna Daugherty 2004  


Well by now most of you have heard about how I ended my trip to Minneapolis. So I won't belabor that point. As to how this week went, that brings us to the other meaning of today's edition of MF.

I've spent most of the week in various stages of altered functionality. I was given two different prescriptions of percocet (5mg and 7.5mg). I used these alternately to reach a level of comfort from the pain I was experiencing without becoming a total zombie.

At the beginning of the week I would take two 5mg to get a decent night's sleep. This had some moderate success. However, when I took a single 7.5mg dosage it made me loopier than the two 5mg (just ask llbear, he witnessed this transition over the phone). My goal was/is to go longer and longer periods of no medication. In this I think I've reached some level of balance.

Some people have wondered how I got thru last week. Simple, two Aleve and two percocet every night. And I did discuss my stones, I just didn't want to bore anyone with repeating it over and over. So, I wasn't as stoic as it appeared, I just didn't tell everybody.

Going from here let me lay out what happens next. Of all the methods available to handle removing kidney stones the best option for me is lithotripsy.

Some of you may wonder why other options are not being used. Due to the position of the problematic stone and clustering of surrounding stones, this is the best and safest method for me.

As to why, I have had to wait, that has to do with my taking of coumadin/warfarin an anti-coagulant. I have to be off of it for at least five days so it can clear my system. Otherwise we don't want to think about what could happen to anything else that may be in the way of the shock-waves created by the lithotripsy.

So, by next Friday hopefully I'll be passing the debris.

On with the games!!  

Mojo Friday Guidelines

1)   If you comment you have to recommend all comments. (in order to receive mojo you have to give mojo. It's only good mojo manners.)
2)  Everything you say may be taken as a joke (so if you ask a question, expect a silly answer)
3)  You must recommend the diary (and pimp it unapologetically)
4)  You don't have to comment to recommend.
5)  You can't steal my idea (right, like that ain't goin' to happen)
6)  Please, no pictures or YouTubes until after 300 comments. Now, after 300, use a little common courtesy and be responsible in the number.
7)  Mojo mojo mojo mojo, mojo mojo mojo.
8)  TexDem (that's me) is not bound by the guidelines. Heh

Mojo Friday Goals

A. At least 300 different commenters and 1000 comments by 1:30 PM EST and 1500 by 5:00 PM EST Friday Night that it's posted.

B. 100 recommends for each comment, at least.

C. Stay on Recommend List at least five hours (this requires some strategic planning by you guys, refer to guideline #3)

D. At least 200 diary recommends. 300 would be better, spread the word.

E. And always, fun fun fun.

F. Have at least 75% average participation rate as seen here in the Mojo Friday Postgame Show by Woodtick.

G. (New) Have at least 30 kossacks over 90% participation (see here for some tips).

H. Overload the servers with recommends, not to mention dominate Top Comments Mojo list. (we do tend to mess with the site with all of our recommends at one time)(also, to dominate the Top Comments Top Mojo we need at least 50 comments with over 200 recommends, see guideline B)

I. That's enough for now. (Have a suggestion? Post it.)    

MKinTN posted a diary to help everyone achieve greater success called How to Succeed at Mojo Friday Without Really Trying.    

For those of you new to MF (Mojo Friday) we have our own lingo about a few things. Thank's to MF'er Jez (the link will explain) go to this diary for a little more fun and explanation. Official Mojo Friday Snecktionary.  

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