From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
I Feel Pretty and Witty and...Takei!
Pearls of wisdom as we head into the last weekend of Gay Pride Month:
"If y'all want to get married, it's all right with me. I can't say it's worked out too damn well for those of us of the heterosexual persuasion."
---Late Texas Gov. Ann Richards
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My mother made me a homosexual.
If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?
---Graffiti
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"I'm glad that I believe very fervently that Jesus would not be on the side of the gay bashers. To think that people say, as they used to say, that AIDS is God's punishment for homosexuality? Abominable. Abominable."
---Bishop Desmond Tutu
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When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.
---Epitaph of Sgt. Leonard P. Matlovich
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If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: Hello? Can't work today. Still queer.
---Robin Tyler
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I had the experience with The Joy of Gay Sex, when it was being distributed in Canada, that a woman thought she was buying The Joy of Cooking. She went home and looked up "chicken" and was absolutely appalled. She created a tremendous fuss.
---Author Edmund White
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"I was traveling in Tennessee and I saw a bumper sticker that I'll never forget. It said: "HOMOSEXUAL: Every Good Southern Family Has One"
---Bishop V. Gene Robinson
And a tip 'o the tiara to the legion of straight supporters here at Daily Kos for your unequivocal support of the GLBT community, both within and beyond these crazy orange walls. Achieving equality isn't possible without you on board, and every victory we celebrate is yours, too. So, thanks. I've begun the paperwork to adopt all of you.
P.S. Fingers crossed that, sometime tonight New York will be able to stand on the bridge of the ship of fate and yell: We shail into hishtory!
10:30pmET Update: I [heart] NY! By a vote of 33-29, WE SHAIL!!!!!
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 24, 2011
Note: Watch how cleanly the Miracle Blade slices this avocado in two: % Amazing!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the final launch of the Shuttle Atlantis (Mission STS-135): 14
Days `til the Wayne Chicken Show in Nebraska: 14
Percent increase in sexual harassment complaints by French women since the arrest of creepy IMF guy Dominique Strauss Kahn: 600%
(Source: London Independent via The Week)
Number of permanent IRS agents assigned to do year-round auditing functions at ExxonMobil's HQ in Houston: 35
Amount of foreign taxes and U.S. taxes, respectively, the company paid in 2009: $15.2 billion / $0
(Source: Fortune)
Days that Chris Matthews' on-air challenge that a Republican congressman come on his show and say (s)he doesn’t agree with Rush Limbaugh on an issue, and/or that he's not the de facto head of the Republican party, has gone unanswered: 409
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Puppy Pic of the Day (via Bill Evans at Mariposa): Say hi to Naki'o, the first dog with not one, not two, not three, but four artificial legs. (Courtesy of the miracle-performing elves at OrthoPets)
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CHEERS to Party Town, USA. All those glowing reviews of the Minneapolis Netroots Nation convention should surprise no one---each progressive get-together so far has exceeded expectations, and I can’t wait to see how we manage to top ourselves in Providence, Rhode island next year. The official dates have been announced: June 7-10. And you can now register for an early-bird price that's, if I'm not mistaken, a hundred bucks off the regular price. It's a bargain when you consider all you get: a deluxe pass (which doubles as a timeless, unisex fashion accessory) to Netroots Nation 2012, plus a hand-packed swag bag filled with a seemingly endless cascade of goodies, plus opportunities to rub elbows with senators, congresscritters, state legislators, your favorite netroots stars, advocates and heroes, plus box lunches with sporks made in the USA, plus a chance to win fabulous prizes at the legendary Pub Quiz, plus access to great parties, plus a high that lasts for weeks, months, even years!!! Their online ticket shack is open 24/7 for your convenience. And yes…for a buck extra they'll supersize it.
CHEERS to a win for the black guy in the white hat. When President Obama nailed Osama bin Laden, the guy who took his spot atop the FBI's Most Wanted list was Boston gangster James "Whitey" Bulger. And guess what? Obama got him, too, via fancy footwork by the FBI. And now the next guy in the #1 spot appears to be….
Semion Mogilevich: wanted for his alleged participation in a multi-million dollar scheme to defraud thousands of investors in the stock of a public company incorporated in Canada, but headquartered in Newtown, Bucks County, Pennsylvania, between 1993 and 1998. Mogilevich may wear facial hair to include a moustache.
I'm guessing he's curled up in the fetal position somewhere waiting for his inevitable fate. Man, that Barack is a baaaad muthuh… [Shut your mouth!] Well, I'm talkin' 'bout Barack. [We can dig it!]
P.S. The TV commercial that supposedly led to the capture of Bulger was produced by Mainers. What can I say…we get a little kick out of seeing Bay Staters get in trouble. Ha Ha!
P.P.S. The best reaction to Bulger's capture came from an anonymous woman being interviewed by NBC news in a convenience store: "He was a mobster, but so what? Everybody's gotta have a profession." This planet is doomed.
CHEERS to the 19th century's comeback kid. Democrat Grover Cleveland ran this crazy republic from 1885 to 1889, sat on the sidelines for four years after losing to Benjamin Harrison (aka "Mr. Excitement"), and then wrestled the White House back for another term in 1892, making him both #22 and #24. He died 103 years ago today. Unfortunately, I don't think he's gonna bounce back from that.
JEERS to water, water everywhere. My worst nightmares almost always involve water---water coming through the roof, smashing through the windows, rising from the floor, waves chasing me faster than I can run, cutting off my escape, leaving me stranded. Fuckin' hate it. But considering what's going on in Minot, North Dakota, I should shut up and quit whining:
The Souris River's full weight hit Minot on Friday, swamping an estimated 2,500 homes as it soared nearly 4 feet in less than a day and overwhelmed the city's levees. City officials said they expected more than 4,000 homes to be flooded by day's end.
More than a quarter of the city's 40,000 residents evacuated earlier this week, packing any belongings they hoped to save into cars, trucks and trailers. "The river's coming up rapidly," Mayor Curt Zimbelman said. "It's dangerous and we need to stay away."
If you're in that area and you need help, here's the Minot Red Cross site. Everyone else, cross your fingers and your toes for everyone up there, and donate if you're so moved. And feel free to shout at clouds this weekend---they earned the wrath.
CHEERS to a very wise Latina. Happy birthday and blessings on your camels to Supreme Court Justice (tell me who nominated her, again?) Sonia Sotomayor, who turns 57 tomorrow. My birthday wish to her: that she doesn’t experience a repeat of last year when Antonin Scalia jumped out of her cake. It took weeks to recover from the retina burn.
CHEERS to lookin' out for the womenfolk. 101 years ago tomorrow, on June 25, 1910, President William Howard Taft---meddling in Americans' private affairs via dastardly federal government action---signed the White-Slave Traffic Act, which said that women couldn't be transported across state lines anymore for "immoral purposes" like forced prostitution. It's more popularly known as the Mann Act, but I think they shoulda called it the Man, Men Can be Such Pigs Act. Anyway, my point is: don’t kidnap women and drag 'em across state lines to fuel your sex trade. Thank you. A public service message from this blog and the Ad Council.
CHEERS to home vegetation. First weekend of summer and that means boob-tubage content gets pretty thin. On HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher talks with Alexandra Pelosi, Richard Engel, GOP strategist Susan Del Percio, David Carr and Michael Smerconish. New DVD releases include Matt Damon in The Adjustment Bureau, Ed Helms in Cedar Rapids, and the Roman legion actioner The Eagle ("Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"). Remember when the Red Sox were in last place cuz they kept losing? Now they're in first place cuz they keep winning, and the Pirates will be helpless against them this weekend, says me without even a hint of bias. The new season of True Blood starts Sunday on HBO. (We hear it sucks---Ha Ha Ha ha Ha!!!) And here's your Sunday morning lineup, now with C&J's EXCLUSIVE Liberal-Moderate-Conservative (L-M-C) Index. Let's see how lopsided that dastardly liberal media is this week
Meet the Press: Highly-unpopular Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ); Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA) and Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI) on Afghanistan; Roundtable with Katty Kay, Matt Bai and David Brooks. L-M-C Index: 1-3-2
This Week: Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY); Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC); roundtable with George Will, Anita Dunn, Chrystia Freeland of Reuters, political correspondent Jonathan Karl, Martha Raddatz and professor of international politics at Tufts University Vali Nasr. L-M-C Index: 2-4-2
Face the Nation: Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) L-M-C Index: 0-0-1
Washington Week: ABC News' Martha Raddatz and the L.A. Times' Doyle McManus on Obama's Afghanistan strategy; Nia-Malika Henderson of The Washington Post on the GOP field, including the glitch-plagued debut if John-Jon Huntsman; And NBC News' Pete Williams on the Supreme Court decision that allowed Wal Mart poobahs to sleep much much easier at night. L-M-C Index: 0-4-0
The McLaughlin Group: Three conservatives, one moderate, one liberal, and wake me when it’s over. L-M-C Index: 1-1-3
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Michele Bachmann; Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ); roundtable with Brit Hume, Kirsten Powers, Juan Williams, Bill Kristol. L-M-C Index: 1-0-5
Final score: 5 liberals, 12 moderates, 13 conservatives. A hippie stamPEDE!!! Happy viewing.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 24, 2006
JEERS to the peeling white picket fence. You know the phrase there goes the neighborhood? A new report says middle class neighborhoods in America are shrinking. Reason: the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and the middle class is getting...um, poorer.
CHEERS to covering our asses. Okay, this is good news: scientists say that our efforts to save the thinning ozone layer are paying off. Says the author of a recent study: "It's very impressive that scientists, policy makers, chemical manufacturers and even the general public worked quite agreeably to a solution with ozone. And it did take all those collaborators." Too bad the current administration has ripped the word "collaboration" out of all their dictionaries.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to love among the cheeseheads. A voice from above tells me that Street Prophets founder, YearlyKos (now Netroots Nation) conceptualizer, published author and long-time C&J splasher Pastor Dan Schultz and his lovely wife, Mrs. Pastor, are celebrating their 11th anniversary today. Last year I asked him about the secret of his and Mrs. P's matrimonial longevity. His reply:
Advice 1: bickering works.
Advice 2: Mrs Pastor is always right.
Advice 3: gay marriage doesn't threaten jack.
This year he added a fourth, via The Bloggess: pick your battles carefully or face the wrath of Giant Metal Porch Chicken. Um, paging Dr. Phil...
Have a great weekend. Spend some quality time with the kids. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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