The New Jersey legislature cannot enact a marriage equality bill in the state right now because their governor has said he would veto it. Seven couples have taken the step of filing a lawsuit demanding marriage equality in the state, based on the fact that civil unions are not enough:
The case combines both state and federal claims. It argues that the civil union law violates both the New Jersey Constitution and the Fourteenth Amendment of the federal Constitution.
"The constitutional guarantee of equality under the law does not stop midway through the Lincoln Tunnel," said Hayley Gorenberg, Lambda Legal Deputy Legal Director. "Our clients have been kept from each other during medical crises, denied health insurance, and even discriminated against in funeral homes because their civil unions relegate them to second-class status. New Jersey's same-sex couples have been stuck in a limbo caused by the confusion and indignity of living with an inferior status."
Lambda Legal, the group of gay rights lawyers responsible for the suit, have launched a site dedicated to the seven couples who are bringing the suit. We all know why marriage equality is necessary, but the couples want to tell their stories and explain to the state, and to the country, why they're suffering under the civil unions house of cards.
Danny: John and I met many years ago. We were ultimately "civil unioned" here in New Jersey. Our honeymoon was very romantic. It was just the two of us... and John's 20 immediate relatives.
John: For me it was like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. And We just kinda became whole.
Danny: On October 11th, 2010, I got the phone call - the one phone call that is everybody's worst nightmare. And it was the NYPD telling me to rush to Bellevue hospital, that John had been hit in an accident. The neurosurgeon asked me "Just tell us... what are you? Are you married?' And I said, "No we have a civil union in New Jersey. And I thought to myself, "I can't believe we're wasting time talking about this when John is sitting here hemmorhaging. They were getting stuck on the terminology. That very terminology 'civil union' that was supposed to help us for just such a crisis was exactly what was causing a problem.
John: I had to re-learn how to use the right side of my body. I couldn't really take care of myself. Danny was very supportive, so I knew when it came to the line of "in sickness and in health" that Danny would be there behind me.
Danny: At the end of each day, I want to be able to look at myself and say that we are doing everything together as a couple, to help him continue to make this great progress. And this is the point where we're reaching out for help. We need this problem to be fixed. And it needs to be fixed now.
This affected me deeply as a guy in a wheelchair. I got paralyzed at fifteen from a surgery for scoliosis. I'm not with anyone but I have these thoughts; what if someone in a civil union needs some attention from doctors that only marriage provides? What if someone less independent than myself can't find a good lawyer or maybe doesn't know they need better protections if they are forced to get civil unioned as opposed to married? What happens to those people in my situation who are together with a spouse - albeit one only recognized by an inferior label - someone who has to be strong, to take care of their spouse and provide for them? What happens not only in terms of visitation and care, but insurance? What do they do if someone is on a ventilator waiting to pass away?
The options aren't the same and "civil union' doesn't even mean the same thing in every state that has civil unions. Someone like me, or someone in their situation, could be left without recourse. It could end worse than just arguing in a hospital room over legal terminology. It could be the end of someone's life. Health problems are nothing to mess with, and especially for paraplegics and quadriplegics.
These people deserve the security of not having to deal with extra responsibilities just for not being straight enough. They deserve to feel safe that an accident won't bankrupt them.
More than that, though, these people love each other. They're supporting each other through everything. When you find two people who are so in love in that way that binds them forever, you should respect their commitment and honor it. Anything else is cruel.