Seems pretty quiet around here. Good a time as any for this, I guess.
I've enjoyed my brief time as the best writer on DailyKos. The medal's really shiny and goes well with my leather-patched tweed jacket. The awards ceremony was like a dream--the champagne, the caviar, the Marine Band. The stretch Prius limo was a nice touch, but really, the booze and broads in the hotel room--that was kind of over the top. But thanks. Y'all are swell.
But I can hear the tower clock striking midnight and I must return to my humble duties as CinderVorra, starting with cleaning the coachmen from the HavAHart trap and getting these glass shards out of my foot. Highly impractical footgear, that.
I'm abdicating the throne, baby. Getting while the getting's good. I hereby declare I am the most mediocre writer on DailyKos. I'll be getting back to my self-absorbed grumblings, painfully obvious reflections, mindless cheerleading and shameless self-promotion. I think it's best.
For all of us.
Because Steven D was right: the best writer on this site is you (I know he was writing to me when he said it, but I was like, "No, Steven, it's o-verrrrr" and he was like, "No, really, it's you" and I was like, "Whateverrrrr" and he just kept on "you, you, you" and I was, like, come on, Steven, like I get it, but he was like, no really, it's you and I was like...).
What? Oh. Sorry.
Anyway, like Steven said, it's on you now. You da man. Or da woman. Heck, it's the internet. For all I know, you da dog.
So, get busy blowing my mind, breaking my heart, stoking my ire and tearing me apart.
But be forewarned: uneasy lies the head. Once you get the title, they'll be gunning for you, going through every diary and comment with a fine-toothed comb cackling over dangling participles and sentences ending with. You'll never hit "publish" again without wondering if they've wired your keyboard to blow.
But you can do it. This is your stage, baby. You hear that crowd? They came for you. So get out there and give 'em what they came for.
You don't mind if I just hang here backstage for a couple of minutes, do you? I. . . I'm gonna miss it.