Earlier this month Tom Petty asked Michelle Bachmann to stop using "American Girl" as her campaign theme song. In fairness she is just the most recent in a long line of Republican Presidential Candidates getting their wrists slapped for using the songs of liberal artists without their permission. John McCain had to stop using Mellencamp's "Our Country" in 2008, Sting stung George W. Bush in 2000 for using "Brand New Day" without his permission, Bob Dole had to stop using his parody version of "Soul Man" in 1996, George H.W. Bush had to stop using "Don't Worry, Be Happy" in 1988, and most famously, Bruce Springsteen blasted Ronald Reagan in 1984 for using "Born in the USA".
Adding insult to Republican injury, popular musicians tend to flock to Democratic Presidential Candidates. The band Fleetwood Mac famously even reunited to play at Bill Clinton's inauguration after he used their song "Don't Stop" during his campaign. Given the importance of a campaign song to set the tone for your campaign, inspire supporters, and crystalize your message, Republicans are left in the unenviable position of having to choose between using a liberal artist's popular song and getting attacked for it or going with some Country Singer or Ted Nugent. I want to help, and since I don't listen to country and am scared of Ted Nugent I'm left recommending songs that happen to be in my iPod right now. And so without further ado, my recommendations for the 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates:
Mitt Romney
The Bravery - "An Honest Mistake": Sure he's the early frontrunner in the field, but when even Tim Pawlenty can come up with a zinger like 'ObamneyCare", you know he's going to run into problems with his Massachusetts Healthcare Program. As is so often the case, he needs to just get out ahead of it and admit it was just an honest mistake. Plus the song is catchy.
Jon Huntsman
Abba - "Take a Chance on Me": Given that his entire campaign strategy is seemingly based around Mitt Romney being abducted by aliens before the New Hampshire primary, it only seems fitting for Huntsman to have a campaign song who's opening lyrics are: "If you change your mind/I'm the first in line."
Rick Santorum
Avenue Q - "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist": Sure a song from a musical is an unconventional choice, but Rick Santorum is an unconventional candidate. And after recently signing a pledge stating that African-American children were better off under slavery because at least their parents were married then, reaching out to the little racist inside every primary voter is probably his only shot.
Herman Cain
Herman Cain - "This is the Day": Herman Cain holds the unique advantage of being the only candidate to have released his own album, and clearly he should take advantage of it. I think "This is the Day" sounds the most Presidential, but it's a tough call.
Ron Paul
Abba - "Money, Money, Money": Yes, I realize this is the second Abba song on the list. What can I say, I like Abba. Ron Paul wants to abolish the Fed and all government regulations. Tell me that's not a Rich Man's World. And if you really question this choice, just watch the random flashes of gold coins in that music video.
Tim Pawlenty
Green Day - "Reject": Tim Pawlenty has got to be jealous that Michelle Bachmann is the politician from Minnesota that's getting all of the attention in this race. And as the song says, his only chance of winning is that "when the smoke clears, here I am/Your reject All-American."
Newt Gingrich
Barenaked Ladies - "If I Had a Million Dollars": I honestly didn't notice the irony of picking a Barenaked Ladies song for Gingrich until I started typing this. Instead I just felt that this slow meandering song about what two stoners would do if they had a million dollars was the perfect metaphor for Newt Gingrich's slow meandering campaign that is less likely to win than those two stoners, who also happens to be a million dollars in debt. But you should feel free to insert a joke about Gingrich's affairs with Barenaked Ladies here.
Michelle Bachmann
Gnarles Barkley - "Crazy": And we come back full circle to Michelle Bachmann. Why should she choose this song? Because she is actually insane.
Entertained Organizer
Bonnie Tyler - "Holding Out for a Hero": No, I'm not declaring my candidacy for the Republican Presidential Nomination, but if I ever ran for elected office this would absolutely be my campaign song. The lyrics are vaguely fitting, you can't help but get pumped listening to it, and there's a chance people might start referring to me as "a street-wise Hercules", and I would be ok with that.
So what's your campaign theme song?
Crossposted from www.EntertainedOrganizer.com