It seems like Marcus Bachmann has made “ex-gay” therapy the subject of every conversation. The other day, ABC News’ Brian Ross interviewed Alan Chambers of notorious “ex-gay” group Exodus International, who – in addition to spouting his usual discredited BS – made the claim that his group is just like those people at Weight Watchers. Because homosexuality and obesity are exactly the same thing. So what are we gonna do, go after Weight Watchers now?
Well, I’ve never taken part in formal “ex-gay” therapy, though I have done way more than my share of trying to pray the gay away, which seems to be the basis of the “ex-gay” program. As one of those (probably) rare people who have both tried to pray the gay away and participated in Weight Watchers, I was more than a little irked at Chambers’ comparison between Weight Watchers and Exodus International.
So I’d like to note a few important differences between Weight Watchers and praying the gay away.
I did Weight Watchers to get healthy. I tried to pray the gay away to avoid hell.
Three years ago, I weighed over 300 pounds. I was addicted to food. I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without spending five minutes regaining my breath. When I went to the theater, I had to squeeze to get into the seat. I once got kicked off a roller coaster because the belt wouldn’t fasten. I was unhealthy. I knew I was unhealthy. I wanted to lose weight so I could feel healthy again.
The only reason I ever wanted to “lose” my homosexuality was because some guy in a pulpit told me it was an abomination and that I was headed straight for hell. Sure, I was afraid of rejection by my friends, my family, and society in general. But that feared rejection was directly tied to that guy in the pulpit and his misguided interpretation of the Bible.
Weight Watchers never made me want to kill myself. Praying the gay away literally made me want to die.
That’s right, the whole time I did Weight Watchers, I only got happier and happier. For my first few weeks, I lost ten pounds every week. The weight loss slowed considerably after that, but it was constant. I got more and more confident with each passing day as I measured my weight. It was a tough journey, but it was a journey rife with satisfaction and happiness.
On the other hand, I wish I could forget those nights I spent praying to God to please, please, please remove this “burden” of liking other boys from me. I cried, I begged, I made promises I couldn’t keep. I tried forcing myself to like girls. I tried giving my heart and life over to Jesus Christ. Nothing took the gay away. I wanted to die, to simply go into non-existence. Had I not been afraid of hell, I probably would have actually been suicidal.
Weight Watchers is pretty solidly based, with results to back it up. Praying the gay away is based on superstition, with no evidence to back it up.
Based on my experience, Weight Watchers is an amazing program. It taught me healthy eating habits that are still with me. More importantly, the results are actually there to back the program up.
There is no legitimate evidence whatsoever to back up the claim that you can make somebody “ex-gay.” The only real evidence we have are people saying they’re “ex-gay.” Every reputable psychiatric and psychological organization resoundingly rejects the notion of “ex-gay” therapy.
Weight Watchers tackles an actual problem that people want and need help with. Praying the gay away tackles an imaginary “problem” that exists only in the minds of wingnuts.
Obesity is a problem. It is a demonstrable health risk. It is making a lot of people unhappy, for many different reasons. Weight Watchers takes on this problem. It may not work for everybody, but it works for a lot of people.
Homosexuality is not a problem. No reasonable person concludes that there is anything unhealthy about it. The only people who view homosexuality as a public health risk are wingnuts who believe Leviticus should be codified into federal law. “Ex-gay” therapy does not take on an actual problem – it does, however, torture gay people and drive them into lives of further self-loathing, suicidal tendencies, and self-torment.
Most importantly, Weight Watchers worked. Praying the gay away…not so much.
I’m still overweight. But I’m no 300 pounds, I can tell you that. Weight Watchers worked wonders for me. I lost between 60 and 70 pounds within a matter of months. I didn’t take any of those impressive “before and after” pictures (I really should have), but the great thing about Facebook is that it can serve as a window into the past. Here’s my Facebook profile pic from three years ago:
And…my Facebook profile pic now:
How did praying the gay away turn out? Hmmm…hold on…wait for it…
Nope, still a flaming homo. Just like Alan Chambers.
Sorry, but if every respectable professional and reasonable person in society rejects you outright, you don’t get to compare yourself to a legitimate program that actually changes some people’s lives for the better. No. Just no.