I realized this afternoon that Slinkerwink is single-handedly ruining my life. Last fall, we had an election in Florida. Check out the results:
(R) Rick Scott 2,619,335
(D) Alex Sink 2,557,785
Clearly, she is responsible for voters staying home on election day. Daily Kos is the number one source of information for undecided voters in Florida and her diaries about the public option were MUST READS for Florida residents.
But it doesn't end there. A couple of months ago, my gearshift stopped working on my way to school. It got stuck in second gear. The dooflicky that connects the thingamabob and the watchmacallit broke so my roommates had to drill a hole to connect them and wrap the entire thingamajig in duct tape. How do I know it was slinkerwinks fault? Well, duh. My gear got stopped in SECOND gear. And slinkerwink made sure that Democrats in Florida came in SECOND place.
Last week, the air-conditioning in my car broke. I can't really afford an expensive repair right now, so I get to enjoy the Florida summer weather up close and personal. How do I know it was slinkerwink's fault? Well, duh. It broke while I was listening to Breakfast at Tiffany's. Who sings Breakfast at Tiffany's? Deep Blue Something. Where is Deep Blue Something from? Texas, which just so happens to be slinkerwink's base of operations for her diabolical plan to give me a sad.
And today, I'm trying to do some statistical modelling for a project. The software I would normally use--the student version of HLM--won't work because the model is so big. So I turn to the what is supposed to be the best stats program in my field--SAS. And guess what happens? It doesn't work. The program gives me an obnoxious error message when I try to open it. I tried to uninstall and reinstall and that failed. How do I know it was slinkerwinks fault? Well, duh. Both SAS and Slinkerwink start with S!