Someday I'm going to be a real grown up.
I've been saying that for probably 60 years or more. Will I ever really grow up?
Do any of us every grown up? What does a grown up person look like?
You would think a grown up person is taller than a non-grown up, but then many 10 year old boys are bigger than I am, and they certainly aren't done growing up yet.
Have you reached "grown-up" yet?
Maybe a grown-up person is one who has finished growing up. Well, often young girls are finished growing up at around age 14, while boys finish growing close to age 20. Yet I don't know if I would consider either of these as truly grown-up.
Perhaps we're grown up when we act and think in a mature manner. We make mature decisions as adults. Yet even today I find myself making decisions based on what I thought and felt as a child. Some men I know still act like children and have the same desires and fears as children. I don't think these guys will ever grow up.
But who am I to talk? I still grieve that I never made it to cheerleader, that I was unpopular with my classmates. I was shy around people and still am. I daydreamed, and still do. I was afraid of superiors like my parents and employers and still am. Is this how grown-ups live their lives?
The child within me still hangs out and whispers in my ear everyday. "I want to have fun. Let's go for a bike ride. Can I have an ice cream cone? I'm afraid to go there. I'm shy. I won't know anyone. I'm scared."
I've decided to keep that child within this grown-up body. Maybe I'll be another version of Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde, only I'll be Little Rachael, Mommy Rachael instead.
Little Rachael keeps me in touch and helps me empathize with my grandchildren. When I play with them, I'm popular Little Rachael....at last!
So maybe I am really a grown-up at last...but now re-parenting Little Rachael like she had always wanted.