Let me be perfectly clear right up front: I do not think that care-giving of any sort is, or should be considered, the purview of any given group defined by gender (or race, or ethnicity, or sexual orientation, or...)
Now, with that understood...
I've known a lot of men who have been care-providers. For a parent. For a spouse or partner. For children (their own and other's). For an in-law, relative, or just a friend. Even for total strangers, under varying circumstances (emergencies, in a professional role, or as a volunteer at a hospice or other organization). I was in the role of being the primary care-giver for my mother-in-law for over four years - many of you know that story.
And yet most of the people who participate in the forums on care-giving I have been involved with are women. Support groups seem to be predominantly composed of women. Our local Alzheimer's chapter had to struggle to get a men's support group going. Even the guys I know who should be paying attention to these issues seem reluctant to get involved or informed if they can possibly avoid it.
One of the things I keep running into is that male care-providers are perceived as being unusual in our society, in spite of the fact that there are plenty of men in this role. Enough so that GreyHawk and I decided to direct our book towards the niche of being male care-providers - even though both of our wives are hugely important components in the story we tell, and their voices are prominent throughout the book. Why? To help change that attitude that care-giving is "women's work".
Will it work? I'm . . . unsure. So far, most of the people who have "liked" our book page on Facebook are women. Most of the people who have said that they want to buy the book are women. Most of the people who were willing to help with reviewing an advance copy were women.
I'm not sure what to do. I think that there needs to be something of a small revolution in thinking about men's roles when it comes to this topic. I'm not clear on how we get from here to there. I would really welcome any suggestions or thoughts on the subject.