Stephen Colbert touched upon the hilarity that is using dummy accounts to boost Newt Gingrich's number of Twitter followers.
Now, Newt insists his Twitter followers are all legit, and I have no reason to doubt the word of a man who cheated on two wives. But let's say, on the off chance, he did hire a firm to create his Twitter followers. I say fine.
Making up people could be the key to keeping Newt's campaign alive. I mean, he should make up some fake staffers to replace the real ones who all quit. And how about some fake donors to replace all the ones who've abandoned him? Make him look real rich, give him a monocle and a top hat. And while he's at it, folks, he should create a fake Newt Gingrich, because the current one's not doing too good.
Video and transcript below the fold.
Folks, the 2012 election is upon us, and I love a good horse race. I like to go with the candidate who looks like he's been gelded. That's why I'm saddling up Newt Gingrich. I really think he's the guy. And though some of the members of the lamescream meanie-a have counted Newt out, he knows he's got something the other candidates don't, saying:
NEWT GINGRICH (7/31/2011): I have six times as many Twitter followers as all the other candidates combined.
Yes, Newt has won the coveted voting bloc of bored people at work. Newt's got 1.3 million followers, while Michele Bachmann has only 66,000, Mitt Romney has 63,000, and Ron Paul has "What's a Twitter? Is that how I eBay?"
Now forget polls, folks. This is the most important indicator of an electable President. That's why before Newt got into the race, I was throwing my weight behind President Kutcher. He already knows how to please our nation's seniors.
Lookin' good. But folks, scandal is now rocking Newt Gingrich's Tweet-o-verse.
TODAY SHOW (8/2/2011): A former staffer claims Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich paid an agency to artificially pump up his Twitter numbers to show more than a million followers.
What?? His Twitter followers aren't real? Are you telling me today's youth don't fancy a 68-year-old semi-employed former politician who tweets such gems as:
Had great lunch at Mabe's Pizza
and:
Stopped in for lunch at the Pizza Shack
He's speaking their language, man. Kids love hearing about the 'Grich eatin' the 'za. The former staffer alleges that 80% of Newt's followers are inactive or dummy accounts.
Oh, come on. Are you telling me that devoted Twit-follower @041113846806103 is not a living breathing person who just happens to have no photo, no profile, and has never tweeted?
[Note: anyone who clicks on that can see that since Stephen broadcast his piece, there IS now a photo and a name of someone who supposedly lives in Sydney.]
Now, Newt insists his Twitter followers are all legit, and I have no reason to doubt the word of a man who cheated on two wives. But let's say, on the off chance, he did hire a firm to create his Twitter followers. I say fine.
Making up people could be the key to keeping Newt's campaign alive. I mean, he should make up some fake staffers to replace the real ones who all quit. And how about some fake donors to replace all the ones who've abandoned him? Make him look real rich, give him a monocle and a top hat. And while he's at it, folks, he should create a fake Newt Gingrich, because the current one's not doing too good.
In an update, Gawker says only 92% of Gingrich's Twitter followers are fake.
Stephen then talked about the debt ceiling and our credit rating with the NYT's David Leonhardt.
Meanwhile, Jon looked at Fox News's latest ginned-up "scandal" about Joe Biden having the Secret Service pay him rent, and then looked at how his clip about the British Parliament wasn't shown in England because of British laws. Aww. And Aasif Mandvi took a look at a fight over wind power in Florida between the wind company and people who warn the turbines will kill the ducks... that they want to kill.