Staffer: Michele, the White House operator just called, the President is calling for you.
White House Operator: Michele Bachman, please hold for President.
Barack: Michele, Good afternoon, how are you today.
Michele: Much better, I had a migraine this morning but I'm feeling much better now, thanks for asking though.
Barack: Well thats god to hear. Let me get right to the reason I called you, I'm proposing a 5 year 7.5 trillion dollar stimulus bill to create 10 million jobs, I'd appreciate your vote.
Michele: Oh like that has a chance of hell coming to a vote in the House, you know that don't you? And even if it did come to a vote in the House it wouldn't pass anyway. And of course the answer is no.
Barack: Well then, next week I'm going to be in your district explaining to your constituents your plans to vote against their 30,000 jobs. The news conference is tuesday at 3pm, in time for the local 6 oclock news.
Michele:......... you're going to do what?
Barack: I'm going to your district to talk to your constituents, telling them that you're going to vote kill their jobs. I'm calling John Boehner next, hurry up, whats your decision?
Michele: You have got to be kidding me, theres no way I'm going....
Barack: It very simple Michele, without your support, your democratic opponent and I will be campaigning in your district. Jobs are the number one issue to Americans right now, and we'll use this issue to defeat you in November.
Michele: You back stabbing little....
Barack: Look the GOP owns most of the debt ceiling deal and most of the S&P downgrade, but I want to up the ante, I'm betting 10 million jobs that the GOP owns these jobs and we wipe the floor with the Republicans in November. If you support this proposal, you can go back to your district and tell your constituents that you acted in the spirit of bi-partisanship to address the number one problem faced by Americans, the lack of job creation. We'll allow you to take credit for helping grow the economy thru job creation. You have an experienced campaign staff and your are a veteran campaigner, I'm sure this will be a gimme putt for you, getting re-elected this November.
Michele: What if Beohner blocks it from a vote?
Barack: My deal with you is only that you vote for the bill.
Michele: So let me see of I have this right, If.... your bill comes up for a vote.... and I vote yes, you stay away from my district.
Barack: I give you my solemn oath I will not campaign against you or step foot in your district for 2 years. Face it Michele, your best chance at re-election is to convince your voters to give you credit for helping to create jobs. Otherwise you have to ask yourself if you can survive politically.
Michele: I need some time to think this....
Barack: A couple of days?
Michele: 3 days.
Barack: Fine.