Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Really? Yeah.........
Most days I have peace, at least a few precious moments.
There are days it is less , there are days its extensive.
There are days I have to be miserable as hell before I stop to find it.
Even finding it is an illusion. If I look for peace outside myself it’s unattainable.
Just a few deep breaths, a loving hug from my husband, and faith that it will be alright is the best medicine.
Today it isn’t picking up a drug. And that ‘drug’ list can include food, clothing, shopping.
Yes, those innocent activities that so many of us in society use to numb the chaos in ourselves. That just results in wanting more, more, more, because the peace isn’t coming from within.
Nothing can bring me peace but me, but what about those actions that I think I need to do to “get” peace?
I’ll have peace if/when I tell so and so what I think about such and such
I’ll have peace if/when I don’t have to worry about xyz...
I’ll have peace if/when
I’ll have peace if/when........
and then another day is shot to hell, and I don’t have it. No peace.
And I tried so hard to, find peace, create peace.
What I do know is that I accept what is at that moment.
Acceptance is a bitch, its hard, it takes just being willing to do it.
And there are things I just don’t want to accept.
“Just do it” are words I want to scream and yell, “hell no, never, ever, never”, when it comes to accepting some things in life.
Then the pain of losing any peace is stronger than any perceived pain of just letting go and accepting whatever the situation is that is blocking my peace.
My writing is a good example.
It was stifled for months while I reeled over how invaded it felt and sick it was that my a very disturbed and obsessed individual, a lurker here, was reading everything we posted, and had ever posted, in an attempt to use it against us somehow in real life.
It was a horrible feeling that we were being monitored and cyber-stalked.
My Facebook count was invaded, as was my children's.
These lurker/s even asked my husband's family member to make me stop posting here, because what the lurier read about us here was upsetting to them.
My response was "are you effing kidding me? Get some help!"
I didn't want to just accept that there are sick people in this world who have no desire to move on with their lives and get better. No way would I accept that, I wanted to make it stop, to protect me, my husband, my children.
I can’t control anyone, that I know today. Not accepting that fact is why certain people are miserable, and stay miserable, they feel it's their given right to control and manipulate.
And today, that’s okay if that's how others are.
I can accept there are people who are mentally ill, miserable, and obsessed.
It’s irking, kind of creepy, too, but ultimately it's sad and pitiful
Hopefully they can find peace inside themselves at some point.
In my life today I can have a sense of peace, even when all around me is chaos.
That chaos isn’t often these days. But can one have children without chaos erupting at moments, even when they’re grown?
Accepting that here at Daily Kos I am part of a community that makes me visible is what I have to do.
Too many people here are way too important to shut out because of what someone else will see, read, and what they’ll do with that information.
To my friends here, I’ll continue to share. You are my community. Too many of you are special, and I’ve closed you off. I didn’t want to admit myself how much I'd shut others out, because I couldn’t for a time. It had to wait in order not to to hurt my husbands best interest.
Another truth is that I didn’t want to admit to myself that these individuals could affect my life.
They did, but only temporarily.
That’s then, today I’m back, my life is too precious, too short, to not share it with people I care about because of others who have issues they don't want to address and move beyond.
It’s been a long summer. An old timer once told me that even good things are stressful.
And has my life has been full of many good things this year. Marriage, making our life together with our dogs (and the pootie that appeared from out of the cornfield), buying our first home together, traveling half-way across the U.S. while seeing other kossacks near and dear to us.
There’s much more life to live, much more peace to savor.
My sense of peace today is that I have nothing to hide. I have a happy life and I live it with a wonderful man who is learning with me; side by side, every day, what it takes to really find peace within. We share what we have from the inside out to live in love and peace together. Acceptance and love, not control and resentment have built our foundation.
That's inspires peace.
Yesterday was rfall’s first trip to the Iowa State Fair. The day was a hot one, but it was a fun one. The evening ended in the grandstand seeing a Maroon 5 and Train concert. When the evening ends with your arms around each other listening to “Parachute” how can you not have peace, and hit the ground....running.