January 1, 2015 - Phoenix, Arizona was chosen by the National Football League in October of 2011 as the 2015 site for the XLIX Super Bowl. They were in contention with Tampa, Florida, and won, some say, because many in the organization are gun-totin’ NRA members. A special bus was to be chartered to carry the arsenal of weapons that will certainly be welcomed in Arizona.
But wait, the Arizona legislature in an emergency session today called by Gov. Jan Brewer, passed a bill to ban all tourists from Arizona. State Sen. Russell Pearce, the bill’s sponsor, says these out-of-towners aren’t “real Americans.” The ones he is after are Polish, Italian, German, Scotch-Irish, French, British, and the Scandinavian countries. Pearce commented, “At least we don’t have to worry about Hispanics because there are no more of them in Arizona.
The Phoenix Tourist Bureau said that most all of the people the state senator is talking about are U.S. citizens, and a majority was even born in this country. Pearce’s reaction was, “If their ancestors weren’t a part of the ones who chased the Indians off their homelands, they aren’t welcome in my state.” State senator Ron Gould was a co-sponsor of the bill and Gov. Jan Brewer signed the legislation awarding the signing pen to the Phoenix Tea Party.
All those included in the ban that already live in Phoenix questioned if there was a “Grandfather” clause that would allow them to stay in Arizona. When Russell Pearce was asked to answer the question, he replied: “What’s a Grandfather clause? Anyway, I don’t care how old they are, they can’t come in my state.”
NOTE: This parody is based on the recent announcement that Arizona is competing with Tampa to host the 2015 Super Bowl.
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