Every glimpse of flags and towers I caught on the television before I could change the channel yesterday caused my eyes to roll in slight disgust, caused my muscles to temporarily tense in frustration, and caused my stomach to drop in deep internal sadness. Yes, I know I am supposed to salute in lockstep with my compatriots. I’m supposed to mutter some pleasantry about where I was ten years ago, how that day changed us forever, and how I know someone whose uncle’s brother-in-law’s friend was killed that day. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to participate in the “show”. I just wanted it all to go away.
I do have deep empathy for the families who lost loved ones that day. I do have true admiration for the firefighters who bravely entered the burning towers. I do have anger at those criminals who perpetrated that horror upon my beloved country. That day should have become a day which bonded Americans in unity and caused true self reflection about our self as a nation and the world as a whole. It should have been a moment for growth. A moment where we realized that while we must take steps to better protect ourselves, we, Americans, are greater than our enemies because we will not stoop to their immoral actions to achieve our ideological ends. It should have been a moment where we realized that our ideals and example would win out against the misguided. It should have been a moment where we truly decided as a nation that we would refuse live in fear, no matter how frightening an enemy may appear. But the moment was, ironically, hijacked. Our political leaders fed and grew the fears of our citizenry, then manipulated that fear to commit atrocities on ourselves and others.
Thousands of Americans dead in Iraq, a country who had nothing to do with September 11? Trillions of dollars spent on needless war which has not made us safer? Unbelievable.
Hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians killed by our military? My god! These are humans who have the same emotions and basic needs and desires as me. For every death we caused, there are a myriad of children, mothers, fathers, grandchildren, grandparents, friends…left mourning and weeping. No less so than I would if my child or other loved one was killed. Horrifying! Is it so difficult to comprehend that living on the other side of the world does not make a person less human than one's self. Yet, we metaphorically grab our giant balls and brag about how we fucked those bastards up. Unbelievable.
Torture performed by our country? Us? And a wide swath of our population allows September 11 to be used as an excuse? Unbelievable.
The Tea Party? Unbelievable.
On September 12, 2001, America faced a fork in the road. We could have and should have chose that path that made us a greater country and a greater people. Instead, we chose a path of fear, bigoty, and self destruction.
So when the television yesterday showed flags and towers and pretended that September 11 somehow made us a greater country, it only made me weep about reality. A reality I am essentially powerless to change. So I changed the channel as quickly as I could.