Nobody expects the
Surprise Tea Partiers:
[Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio] announced a five-person "Cold Case Posse" that will delve into the issue of President Obama's birth certificate.
The posse follows a request by the Surprise, Arizona Tea Party, who Arpaio met with on August 17. The Surprise Tea Party believes that the long-form birth certificate released by President Obama in April -- which put the issue to rest for pretty much everyone -- could be a forgery.
"The Surprise Tea Party is concerned," they wrote, "that no law enforcement agency or other duly constituted government agency has conducted an investigation into the Obama birth certificate to determine if it is in fact an authentic copy of 1961 birth records on file for Barack Obama at the Hawaii Department of Health in Honolulu, or whether it, or they are forgeries."
According to Sheriff Arpaio, this isn't a political thing, he's just obliged to look into any "legitimate" allegations brought to him by citizens. And so a five-person team will now again investigate what just about everybody else, including Donald Trump, already knows: Yes, the scary black man was born in America. Fortunately, it appears the "investigation" by his assigned five-person "posse" (I'm crying here, but that's the actual word used) will be funded entirely through donations. These donations will primarily be collected from stupid people, which as a slight plus will mean that stupid people will be left with slightly less money.
You have to be at least a little impressed, however, at just how dedicated the Tea Partiers (Surprise or otherwise) are in their devotion to apparently every single conspiracy theory that comes in contact with them. From manatee protection to "Agenda 21" to secret internment camps to secret internationalist highways to birtherism to, well, anything else you can think of, it seems all of America's most dull-witted and paranoid people have finally coalesced into a single, self-selecting group, and it even has a brand now. It even holds its very own presidential debates, in which each candidate is encouraged to snuggle up to them and tell them a good, scary story about the immigrants or the government coming to something-something-something, or at least jingle some keys in front of their faces for a bit to make them forget their troubles.
If nothing else, Sheriff Joe has found himself another way to keep his name in the news as America's Most Notable Crazy Person With a Badge. Like the Surprise Tea Party, I simply cannot wait to find out what his crack team of investi-bators finds out.