Jon Stewart was at it again last night, showing how insane and disgusting the Republican base is. He started off by covering how the crowd booed an openly gay soldier, before showing how quickly the base turned on Rick Perry after some bad debates, and how they're now pining for Chris Christie to enter the race.
So what could we possibly learn about the candidates during their third debate in 15 days? Probably nothing. But the audience continues to surprise.
9/22/2011:
STEPHEN HILL: In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq, I had to lie about who I was, because I'm a gay soldier, and I didn't want to lose my job. My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that's been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?
REPUBLICAN AUDIENCE: BOOO!!!
RICK SANTORUM: Yeah, I would say...
"Yeah! Boo!" I give the audience credit, it takes a lot of balls to boo a guy who could stick your head in his biceps and crack it like a walnut! Look at those things, those aren't biceps! Those are like dodacap-ceps. I'm serious, if this guy turned into the Hulk, his arms would stay the same size! They would just turn green.
But of course, Rick Santorum handled this ugly incident beautifully. No, he did not chastise any individuals in the crowd for their disgraceful outburst, but on the plus side, Don't Ask, Don't Tell!
RICK SANTORUM (9/22/2011): That policy would be re-instituted, and as far as people who are in it, I would not throw them out, because that would be unfair to them, because of the policy of this administration. But we would move forward in conformity to what was happening in the past, which was, sex is not an issue. It should not be an issue. Leave it alone, keep it to yourself, whether you're heterosexual or homosexual.
What planet do you fucking live on? Honestly, what planet? Where sex is not an issue? Yes, the Army has never mentioned spouses, heterosexual or homosexual. We need to go back to an Army where soldiers never specify anything about their sexual orientation, like the old Army drill sound-off.
"I don't know but I've been told,
Eskimo genitalia of unspecified gender are mighty cold."
Those classic World War II aircraft, the Memphis Pat.
And the plane that dropped the atomic bomb, the Enola None-of-Your-Business.
Guy is an idiot!
Videos and transcripts below the fold.
Anyway, Congressman Paul, of course, turning in another fine performance last Thursday, when the Republican Presidential candidates gathered in Florida for the Fox News/Google debate, the 83rd such debate so far this year. Following, of course, the previous week's CNN/Tea Party debate, MSNBC/Reagan Library debate, the History Channel Civil War recreationist debate...
the Tron debate...
the Are You Afraid of the Dark? debate...
and the Don't Tell Rick Santorum We're Canceling the Debate debate.
By the way, Santorum still came in fifth in that debate. Things aren't going his way.
So what could we possibly learn about the candidates during their third debate in 15 days? Probably nothing. But the audience continues to surprise.
9/22/2011:
STEPHEN HILL: In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq, I had to lie about who I was, because I'm a gay soldier, and I didn't want to lose my job. My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that's been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?
REPUBLICAN AUDIENCE: BOOO!!!
RICK SANTORUM: Yeah, I would say...
"Yeah! Boo!" I give the audience credit, it takes a lot of balls to boo a guy who could stick your head in his biceps and crack it like a walnut! Look at those things, those aren't biceps! Those are like dodacap-ceps. I'm serious, if this guy turned into the Hulk, his arms would stay the same size! They would just turn green.
But of course, Rick Santorum handled this ugly incident beautifully. No, he did not chastise any individuals in the crowd for their disgraceful outburst, but on the plus side, Don't Ask, Don't Tell!
RICK SANTORUM (9/22/2011): That policy would be re-instituted, and as far as people who are in it, I would not throw them out, because that would be unfair to them, because of the policy of this administration. But we would move forward in conformity to what was happening in the past, which was, sex is not an issue. It should not be an issue. Leave it alone, keep it to yourself, whether you're heterosexual or homosexual.
What planet do you fucking live on? Honestly, what planet? Where sex is not an issue? Yes, the Army has never mentioned spouses, heterosexual or homosexual. We need to go back to an Army where soldiers never specify anything about their sexual orientation, like the old Army drill sound-off.
"I don't know but I've been told,
Eskimo genitalia of unspecified gender are mighty cold."
Those classic World War II aircraft, the Memphis Pat.
And the plane that dropped the atomic bomb, the Enola None-of-Your-Business.
Guy is an idiot!
And what of Rick Perry? Perry mostly stumbled through the two previous debates, yet retained his frontrunner status. Would the third time be the charm?
RICK PERRY (9/22/2011): I think Americans just don't know sometimes which Mitt Romney they're dealing with. Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of, against the Second Amendment, before he was for the Second Amendment? Was it, was before, he was before the social programs from the standpoint of he was for standing up for Roe vs. Wade, before he was against first Roe vs. Wade? He was for Race to the Top, he's for Obamacare, and now he's against it.
"Nailed it. Can't believe my advisers told me not to get high before this debate. I tell ya, I'm killin' it."
Holy shit! If I'm Romney, I don't even answer, I just cede my time back to Rick Perry.
"Yeah, yeah, no, no, I cede back to Rick Perry. He's doing great. You're doing great. Keep going."
So the third Perry debate, even worse than the first two. Perry demonstrating an incredible un-learning curve. But hey, man, it's early, no harm, no foul.
MIKE HUCKABEE (9/24/2011): Rick Perry is not prepared for the pressure of the presidential stage.
MICHAEL STEELE (9/23/2011): You could've replaced him with a cardboard cutout, and not noticed the difference.
DANA LOESCH (9/26/2011): Perry did horrible at this debate.
TRACY BYRNES (9/26/2011): Rick Perry sucked the other night!
BRIT HUME (9/25/2011): You can read it any of those three ways, it seems to me. I mean, Perry really did throw up all over himself in the debate, at a time when he needed to raise his game.
Everything Hume says has gravitas, even when he's saying, "You know Chris, of course, I've been doing this a long time, really it seems in my estimation that when Texas Governor Rick Perry really diarrhea'ed in his own hand, and he really looked like he held it up to the crowd, and he said, 'Look, look, look at my poop hand'. That was at a time I thought the Governor really needed to just answer the question, instead of taking a dump in his own hand."
So Perry is not ready for prime time. I guess once again, Romney's the frontrunner.
9/26/2011:
CHUCK TODD: Also once again, we're hearing those calls for Chris Christie to jump into the race.
ROBIN ROBERTS: And renewed talk that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie might very well jump in the race.
FOX NEWS: Doubts about Perry reportedly fueling a new push to get Chris Christie in the race.
You want to add another candidate?? It's like the Republican primary is a season of American Idol in reverse, where every week, you just add some other idiot. All that's missing is the humiliating audition where the contestant mangles one of your favorite songs.
CHRIS CHRISTIE: (♫ singing Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" ♫)
Sprung from cages out on Highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line.
Oh!
That hurts me!
First you guys wanted Bachmann, then Perry, now Christie! You know what, Republican base? Meet me at camera 3!
Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe your candidates aren't the problem? Maybe it's you! You seem hard to please or figure out! You're unrealistic. I mean, you're pro-life, yet....
BRIAN WILLIAMS (9/7/2011): Your state has executed 234 death row inmates, more than any other Governor in modern times, have you... (interrupted by wild GOP audience applause)
What was that?? You're afraid of death panels, yet for uninsured coma patients....
9/12/2011:
WOLF BLITZER: Are you saying that society should just let him die?
TEA PARTY AUDIENCE: Yeah!
RON PAUL: No....
TEA PARTY AUDIENCE: Yeah! Yeah!
That's the crowd! "Yeah!!" You guys support the troops. Well, except for Captain Creatine over here.
It's like the Republican base is at war with its own talking points. I want someone who's gonna cut taxes, and balance the budget! Someone who's a skilled orator, but doesn't talk all fancy. A child of poor immigrants, who will build a fence to keep them out of this country. Someone who's strong enough for a man, but pH-balanced for a woman. Someone who will roll up their sleeves, but not show their arms. I feel like if this guy came along today, the Republican response would be, "I don't really go for those Hollywood types."
It's like your ideal candidate is a rare super-heavy element that could only exist in a particular particle accelerator. And even then, only for a fraction of a second, before you all remembered how much you hate science.
You guys need to take a long hard look in the mirror. You need to take a long hard look in the mirror, and not come away thinking, "You know, there's something wrong with this mirror."
And now you want Chris Christie. Sure you do.
CHRIS CHRISTIE (8/3/2011): The folks who criticize my appointment of Sohail Mohammed are ignorant, absolutely ignorant of that, and they're criticizing him because he's a Muslim-American. ... This Sharia law business is crap! It's just crazy! And I'm tired of dealing with the crazies!
He's talking about you! We'll be right back.
Jon then had Ron Paul on as his guest. Of course, this ran long, so here's the unedited interview in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Meanwhile, Stephen had an hour-long show featuring the band Radiohead. He looked at corporations wanting First Amendment rights for their own products.
He then
looked at how Americans care less about climate change now, even though we're in a much more perilous position now.