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I sit here in the hospital watching her take her last breaths. Hoping for just one more, just one more. The smile everyone knew her by is already gone forever.

She'll be gone within hours. One month ago we were happy. That's how fast it can happen.

This isn't much of a diary. Just a marker, I guess, and a cautionary tale; you really must live every day to the fullest. We did; I have no regrets.

But it's so hard to say goodbye. I keep the lonely vigil here in the middle of the night in her hospital room. It's my right and my privilege and my honor to be here for her. I tell her constantly that I love her, that I'm right beside her.

From her window I can see the room where my 19 year old son died, four years ago. Somehow I have reaped the whirlwind. Somehow I have attracted the horrible attention of bad chance.

She'll be gone within hours. Please, please, honor her for a moment in your thoughts. Her name was Sholley and she was one of the best.

Thank you for the rec list.

Updated... she's gone. Thanks for helping me celebrate her life.

Originally posted to WestTexasLiberal on Thu Sep 29, 2011 at 03:47 AM PDT.

Also republished by The Grieving Room, Spiritual Organization of Unapologetic Liberals at Daily Kos, and Street Prophets .

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