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Since I got my quilt on October 20, a lot has happened.  First, I just sat down and looked at it.  Unbelievable.  Sara liked it a lot and I felt flattered as I felt that I inspired the brilliance within.  It is amazing, I must admit.  I remember telling her that I loved plants, that I worked with corn (my life) and that I favored primary colors.  Whatever I said, it inspired a great quilt.  The back is a mosaic of nothing but corn seeds.  The front, blocks of leaf-shaped patterns with a definite planty feel.  Cherries, flowers, leaves, and seeds break up the words of many Kossack friends.

The words - I then went over the comments that were inspiring, funny, and uplifting.  I am still in shock that so many people all over the world are involved in this community.  

Now things sort of fell apart.  

Cancer update time:  Last Thursday I had chemo again that between Friday and Saturday I discovered that I was both totally unable to have a bowel movement or to urinate.  Constipation is a known side effect of chemo but it didn't bother me until I started taking a particular pain med that has the same effect.  Bottom line, I went to the hospital.  TMI.  This was one of the most miserable experiences of my life.  After four enemas to purge a brick from my colon, a few choice drugs for other problems, and such, I was able to go home.  Drained, literally and figuratively, I was completely weak and helpless for five days.  TMI-2.  Never mind, too graphic.  Let's just say I was living in a fetid stench-filled hellhole and could barely control any of my bodily functions.

Through all this time, I was literally never away from Sara's quilt.  I threw up on it.  I shat upon it.  I sweated on it.  I dragged myself back and forth from TV/couch to bedroom with it.  I put it over my head and cursed.  The quilt was there with me through thick and thin, letting me abuse it and be comforted by it.  I remember thinking one time, was this what was intended in the community quilt project.

Gradually, thanks to my friend Annette, my son who kept going to the store for whatever I needed, my two cats, and my quilt, I made it through and finally felt like a normal person at about 50% strength yesterday.  And, that was from a low of 5% last Sunday!  Aside:  I don't know if this is normal, but I came away from this all with heightened emotions.  Anything I normally wouldn't like, I now detest.  I hate listening to people talk fast.  Pills - I hate pills.  And, interestingly, I cannot tolerate drug commercials either.  Space:  I feel compressed by the number of people in a room.  I hate Herman Cain, I mean I really HATE him.  I think he is the most vile creature to every walk the face of this planet.  I want to choke Joe Scarborough and smash his sanctimonious face with those diminutive features on a pile of fossilized turds.  …  OK.  I'm done.

Now, I am at the "Take Sara R's Quilt to the Yarn Store Today" part.

In my last few days of absolute abysmal hell, I started worrying about my quilt.  Do I want to associate my lovely quilt with vomiting, diarrhea, hospitals, and Herman Cain?  No freaking way!  So, I washed my quilt and decided to take it with me for some good vibes.  I'm not a 50-something woman with a blanky but I am going to put my quilt in the car for a while and let it try to forget what we have been through together.  OK, I might leave it in the car but I want the quilt to not remind me of how sick I was the first weeks I had it.

Peace and comfort to all other quilt recipients and … oh, god, thank you, Sara R.  You will never know how much you have done for the community.

Note:  Diary on the Community's Community Quilt (The Daily Kos Community Quilt - a Virtual Tour)

Originally posted to alliedoc on Sun Nov 06, 2011 at 03:38 AM PST.

Also republished by Spiritual Organization of Unapologetic Liberals at Daily Kos, DKOMA, Street Prophets , Pink Clubhouse, and Community Spotlight.

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