It seems like the War on Christmas is starting earlier and earlier each year. We're not even through Thanksgiving yet, and we already have to worry about who's destroying our precious holiday. As usual,
Bill O'Reilly is on the case:
Then Bill got to his Christmas holiday threat: “Am I an extortionist for telling merchants and companies that if you refuse to say ‘Merry Christmas’ or tell your employees you are not allowed to that I will put you on the air and hurt your business. Am I an extortionist?”
I'd say yes. But Carlson thought not. “That’s giving your personal opinion,” she insisted.
O'Reilly warned his audience, “If any retailer tells their employees you’re not allowed to say ‘Merry Christmas’ that, that’s gonna be on The Factor and that’s gonna cost ‘em, there’s no doubt about it.”
So be warned: if you say Happy Holidays to someone instead of Merry Christmas, Bill O'Reilly will hunt you down. If you refuse to say Merry Christmas, Bill O'Reilly will hunt you down, hunt your family down, and possibly dress your pets up in uncomfortable holiday-themed clothing without your permission. Oh, it's on.
I have to admit, the War on Christmas is my most favorite holiday. It combines the two things America is best at: declaring war on something, and engaging in insincere public displays of piety.
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