From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
And Now For Something Completely Different...
In a break from our usual format, today we're treating you to our traditional C&J hymn---BiPM Opus 3.0. In observance of Thanksgiving, we've added a few new stanzas to the classic holiday piece, We Gather Together. (Click here and watch a dude play it on his magic organ) As the holiday unfolds, may your feast be bountiful, and your couch time plentiful.
One, two, three...
We gather together to count all our blessings;
The big ones, the small ones, and those in between.
Today there's no stressing, now please pass the dressing,
For four and twenty hours, we're an eating machine.
Oh, rats, I forgot first to give you a pat-down
Pat pat grope...pat pat grope...hey, nice underpants!
No need to be prayerful, cuz TSA is careful.
But your plane's at JFK, and your bags are in France
Hush hush everybody, it's time for a mic check!
Check one two! (CHECK ONE TWO!!!) I hope you're all ears.
The Occupy movement is here to make improvement
From Wall Street to L.A.: suck on this, racketeers!
And let's take a moment to savor a vic'try
Osama's pajamas are tattered and torn
The leader of terror made one great big error
So we shot him in the eye and we took all his porn.
A tip of the hat to the GOP hopefuls
There's Rick and there's Rick and there's Mitt and there's Ron
Michele is a loon and ol' Newt is a cartoon
Oh, look! It's a debate! Someone pass me the bong.
Two snaps and a twist to our out 'n proud soldiers.
In ranks and in tanks they impress all the brass
This year was the death knell for 'Don't Ask' and 'Don’t Tell'
They serve now openly, and they'll still kick yo' ass.
And, maybe we might think a bit 'bout the ice caps
I'm thinking they're shrinking and that means we'll fry!
Our planet's an oven, it really needs some lovin'
If we don’t act and fast, we can kiss ourselves "Bye!"
And now here's a word from the GOP Congress:
"No No No! No No No! N-N-N-N-No!
No No No No No No! No No No N-N-No No!
No No N-N-N-No! No No No No No!
And this is the lyric devoted to Rachel
She's sassy, she's classy, she makes us all think.
She blisters the far-right, her logic is air-tight
The truth she doth defend...and she makes a mean drink!
And here's an idea: let's help out the jobless.
Stop firing, start hiring and pay decent bucks.
We need roads and bridges, in oodles not smidges,
It's great to work because the alternative sucks.
And finally a scritchy or two for our pooties
They're fuzzy, they're wuzzy, they're wily and sleek
Their claws they are scratching! Their teeth---ow!---are gnashing!
Okay, no bath today---we can do it next week.
Ah…..men.
Happy Gobble Gobble, everyone. A few more goodies, including a Molly Ivins Thanksgiving bon mot, below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 24, 2011
Note: Cheers and Jeers will not appear tomorrow or Monday due to our time-honored tradition of slacking. We will return on Tuesday for the final sprint to 2012. Bring comfortable rocket shoes.
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By the Numbers:
Days `til the Lighting of the National Chanukah Menorah with the United States Marine Band and Dreidleman: 26
Days `til the Lighting of the National Christmas Tree with Carson Daly and Kermit the Frog: 7
Date of Lincoln's Thanksgiving proclamation: 10/3/1863
Increase in the cost of a turkey dinner with all the trimmings from last year: 13%
(Source: CNBC)
Minimum number of presidents who have called the Butterball hotline: 1
(Source: The West Wing)
Number of NFL games today: 3
Population of Turkey, Texas: 494
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Dan Green of New York City says of the election results, "You can't be depressed now, the worst is yet to come." Following that good advice, I intended to keep my indignation dry and save the outrage for when it is really needed, kind of like saving room for the pumpkin pie after Thanksgiving dinner. If we're going to get through the next four years, we have to pace ourselves, I concluded. […]
As though things on the legislative side weren't bad enough, Bush and Cheney are moving to make the executive branch all-powerful. You can already see several of the unfortunate characteristics of the first term being intensified in the second. The emphasis on secrecy is already more pronounced, as is the selection of people for loyalty rather than competence.
But we have to save some room for when it gets worse, so I'd like wish absolutely everybody, including the Bush administration, a swell Thanksgiving.
---Thanksgiving, 2004
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Good advice
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Things For Which I Am Thankful: 2011
The middle name of our 44th president is Hussein and not Sidney
Joe Biden is our vice president and Sarah Palin is not
That Elizabeth Warren is now a candidate for the U.S. Senate…and a Kossack
Our soldiers over here and over there, including the ones who can finally be their openly-gay selves without getting kicked out
The Occupy movement, for shifting the debate where it belongs: jobs and income inequality
Jesse LaGreca...and that kepi!
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The Congressional Progressive Caucus
Michelle Obama
Senators Sherrod Brown, Bernie Sanders, Barbara Boxer, Al Franken and Kirsten Gillibrand
Alan Grayson and Russ Feingold: may they stage comebacks with a vengeance
Gabrielle Giffords, for her miraculous recovery
Barney Frank
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Olbermann, Maddow, Schultz, O'Donnell, Rev. Al, Stewart, Colbert, Maher
Chris Hayes, Ezra Klein, Greg Sargent
E.J. Dionne, Eugene Robinson, Frank Rich, Bob Herbert
Naomi Klein, Melissa Harris-Perry, Glenn Greenwald, Robert Greenwald
Atrios, Digby, Americablog, Pam Spaulding, John Cole, Dan Savage
Think Progress, Media Matters
Krugman! Krugman! Krugman!
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The rest of the world, for kinda liking us again
The Arab Spring…and summer…and fall.
The rise of Newt
The fall of Murdoch
Extraterrestrials. Unless they plan to eat us.
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My partner, Michael, for growing old with me
All of my bosses at Daily Kos
The front-pagers and diarists here, for explaining stuff I don't know boo about
The rest of the progressive blogosphere, for having the wisdom to follow all the orders issued by Kingmaker Markos
Netroots Nation and its organizers
Netroots for the Troops
SaraR's quilts
Dirty Fucking Hippies
M'doggie. M'pootie.
Righty blogs, an endless source of unintentional humor (bless their hearts)
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Wineries
Distilleries
Breweries
Pepcid AC
Advil
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Evolution
Electric cars
High-speed rail
Unions
Onions
Funions
Diversity
Roads and bridges and schools that aren’t falling apart (all six of them)
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Progressive Wisconsin and the 'Gang of 14'
Ohio's "No on 5" campaign
New York's gay marriage law
Mississippi's grassroots "No on 26" organizers
Maine voters who restored same-day voter registration
Bill McKibben and the Keystone XL Pipeline protesters
And, as ever, that magic moment at 6am when the rum crosses the blood-brain barrier.
How 'bout you?
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