I was sucked into Facebook late. It wasn't until I was a sophomore in college that I finally broke down and opened an account. And I haven't logged out since.
Okay, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but not much of one. Very, very rarely do I log out of Facebook. It's a permanent tab in my Google Chrome browser. When I get up, the first thing I do is check my newsfeed. All day, when I should be working, I'm scrolling down my newsfeed and reading everything from mundane plans for the day to high school relationship drama. Girls posting vague song lyrics to indirectly tell their boyfriends how they really feel, and boys...okay, boys don't post relationship drama unless they're gay, and we won't even go there, because that drama is all kinds of crazy. People I don't even know and have difficulty remembering how they got on my friends list posting that they're bored and need someone to text them. Girls posting pictures of themselves in the mirror with a toilet in the background (yes, true story). Sports nuts updating their statuses every five minutes with things ranging from "GODDAMNIT!!!" to "HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT!!!"
And, every once in a while, there's a well-written status update or a photo album or a witty comment posted by a friend that I care about. But anything good quickly gets pushed to the bottom of my newsfeed under the weight of song lyrics and duckface pictures. It's the nature of the Book of Face.
Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like without Facebook.
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Life without Facebook. Without knowing about somebody's relationship troubles before their partner. Without being bombarded with requests to build a farm or join somebody's mafia or some other mindless, coma-inducing exercise in time-wasting. Without reading random, out-of-context song lyrics posted by a grown adult in a childish attempt to get attention. Without reading what type of sandwich somebody just ate. Without being assaulted on chat by somebody who never talked to me in high school but suddenly feels the need to ask me what's up every single time I'm online. Without knowing that ___ is at ___ with ___ and ___.
What ever would I do in such a world? What would such a world even look like?
I don't know, but I imagine it would look something like this:
It's a silly video, but think about it. How could we live without browsing people's Facebook albums and liking the cute pictures? Without being able to show off our pets and food creations? Without letting everybody know when something awesome - or really terrible - happens?
And how would we ever remember anybody's birthday?
It would be an unbearable world in which poking somebody could result in assault charges.
Lots of my friends have "left" Facebook out of frustration. Nine times out of ten, they've come back. Why? Because leaving Facebook is like leaving modernity itself. You'd might as well try to opt out of the globalized economy. Love it or hate it, if you're under a certain age, you can't survive without Facebook.
Hell, I just spent an entire diary hating on Facebook, and guess what I'm going to do after I publish this diary. Not log out of Facebook, that's for sure.
Facebook is here to stay. But, since we're all stuck in this virtual version of high school, it would just be nice if some people would observe a little etiquette every now and then.
Now, On To The Top Comments!
A special thanks to this week's Top Comments contributors!
paradise50 has nominated this comment by smileycreek, which shows the wonderful picture-quilt (or, Top Comments in picture form) created by jotter. Isn't it awesome?
From brillig:
In Julie Waters's This, America, is why we can't have nice things, middleagedhousewife places blame where it belongs.
From yours truly, Chrislove:
I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or be utterly disgusted and creeped out at the video Sagebrush Bob shares in this comment on Julie Waters's diary about today's Black Friday pepper-spray madness. In the same diary, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse sums it up in this comment.
In Christian Dem in NC's diary about a Georgia businessman who is claiming he can't hire until Obama is out of office, edg smacks the businessman down with this comment.
In Mother Mags's diary "Thankful for the outbreak of sanity in Arizona," rasbobbo says what everybody is thinking about America's worst sheriff.
Finally, Some Top Mojo!
(excluding tip jars)
Top Mojo is brought to you by mik's magic!
1) Here is Andrews' logo for his rogue movement by The Troubadour — 102
2) A major who can't get his police chief to answer by Wendys Wink — 95
3) Those of us who are thin on the ground here, by Asinus Asinum Fricat — 81
4) So funny! I was in WM 2 hr ago... by Clem Yeobright — 68
5) Thanks for the update, Kelley, by GollyMissMolly — 63
6) Happee Fangsgibbing! by arizonablue — 62
7) Hope You are Feeling Better by JekyllnHyde — 60
8) police by LieparDestin — 60
9) enjoy the balloon parade too! by ActivistGuy — 59
10) Excellent Rant..... by snapples — 60
11) Thanks to FreedMan... by jessical — 56
12) Happy turkee dai by KrazyKitten — 56
13) Push-button solutions for the dimwitted. by xxdr zombiexx — 56
14) Nomnomnom.... by kishik — 55
15) How's Your Thanksgiving Weekend Going? by JekyllnHyde — 54
16) We are Anonyshopper... by cskendrick — 52
17) Love you, Froggie ♥ by KelleyRN2 — 51
18) Ditto by Heller Highwater — 50
19) You forgot to mention the associate discount card. by oldpotsmuggler — 50
20) I'm sure I speak for that frog too! by Asinus Asinum Fricat — 49
21) He's flipped by jmknapp — 49
22) Great news, Nurse Kelley! by freedapeople — 48
23) Oh, this is such good news! by Ekaterin — 48
24) Wishing upper management work a register by peptabysmal — 48
25) Roger wasn't blind but he WAS black. by FreedMan — 47
26) I work at wal-mart by rowanleigh — 46
27) And don't forget us!! by kishik — 46
28) I don't believe he was drunk at all by ggwoman55 — 46
29) Thanks for the update, Kelley. I have been by mayrose — 46
30) {{{Kelley}}}. Godspeed. n/t. by Dreaming of Better Days — 45
31) Sign at Occupy Best Buy: by Mother Mags — 45
Thanks For Reading, Y'all!
See you next time!