(With the UN climate conference under way in Durban, South Africa, it's time to check in with our pals Ogg & Uck. See what they think of human-caused imminent disaster.)
Uck: Burning wood good, Ogg. Sciencemen just trying to scare us!
Ogg: But-but, terrible things will happen unless we change our ways!
Uck: You fall for hoax, elephant-mail prove science wrong!
Ogg: But more delay means more danger!
Uck: But danger not caveman-caused!
Ogg: It is! Countless studies have shown--
Uck: Then me want more studies, prove to my own eyes!
Ogg: But Uck, time is running out!
Uck: Now not good time. Me lucky to have wood-cutting job.
Ogg: But the consequences of doing nothing will be much much worse!
Uck: Um, you not going to leave me alone, will you?
Ogg: No Uck, it's for the good of the species!
Uck: How 'bout me agree to change ways later?
Ogg: Well, I suppose incremental changes are better than none at all.
[beat]
Uck: Me still need wood for fire now!
Ogg: Uck!
[rock crashes down on both of them, crash blam thud]
Uck: [muffled, under rock but not hurting] Gravity is just theory, Ogg.