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Huffington Post this morning had a screaming headline across the top:
        Newt On Fire!

Newt On Fire inspired me to a bit o' Burma-Shave doggerel. I know you can do better than:

"Newt on fire."

Bacon sizzle.

Gotta watch--
where he sticks his pizzle.


So, below the fold, there are some contest rules...

I know you can do better.

Submit yours below, vote for ones you like. I'll tally in twenty-four hours, or 48, or whenever I feel like it, and report.

Submit as many as you like. Vote for any and all that you like. My little bit (above) is not an entry. Maybe I'll submit something in about 12 hours, or so.

Limericks, Burma-rhythm, free verse, haiku, et al.--all valid.

Be civil. (Rhymes with pizzle.)

Mon Dec 05, 2011 at 8:29 AM PT: Commonmass is our winner!
Read them all--it won't take long, unfortunately.
Thank you for playing.
--and take a look at INDIGOCALLIOPE for more!

For those with access to The Nation, I suggest you visit Calvin Trillin's many poems about Newt, written over the last 15+ years, including the one from just this week.


Originally posted to CitizenJoe on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 07:45 AM PST.

Also republished by Indigo Kalliope.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (6+ / 0-)

    Dear Ayn Rand fans: Please, would each of you just go all John Galt, immediately? Thank you.

    by CitizenJoe on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 07:45:03 AM PST

  •  Clarification: how to vote... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    commonmass, ulookarmless

    Hit the Rec button on any entry you want to vote for. I'll count a Rec as a vote for that entry. Vote for as many as you wish.


    Dear Ayn Rand fans: Please, would each of you just go all John Galt, immediately? Thank you.

    by CitizenJoe on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 07:52:43 AM PST

  •  Illinois: Blago/Burris/Lincoln/Obama (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    commonmass, ulookarmless

    The American Vision of Abraham Lincoln AT THIS MOMENT

    At this moment
    Resting in the comfort of the statue
    Of the 16th president of the United States
    An equally impressive representation
    Of his friend and advisor
    Frederick Douglass
    We come
    On this day
    Recalling the difficult and divisive war
    We are compelled
    With a prayer in the name
    Of those captured and enslaved
    Who with heart and mind
    Cleared the wilderness
    Raised crops
    Brought forth families
    Submitted their souls
    Before a merciful and great God
    To acknowledge that The Civil War
    Was fought not to free the enslaved
    For they knew they were free
    But to free the nation
    From a terrible cancer eating at our hearts
    At this moment
    In which we are embarrassed
    By the Governor of our fifth largest state
    Who appoints a man to the United States Senate
    To which both he and his minion agree:
    The Letter of the Law
    Is more important than
    The Spirit of the Law
    When we are dismayed that the accidental
    Governor of the Empire State can find
    Just one more reason to rain pain
    And rejection on a family that has offered only
    Grace and graciousness
    After two hundred years
    When we rejoice that another son
    Of the Midwest has offered himself
    His wife and his two precious daughters
    To show us a better way
    We gather
    In recognition and understanding
    That today is always and forever today
    Allowing us to offer this plea
    For light
    And truth
    And Goodness
    Forgiving as we are forgiven
    Being neither tempted nor intolerant of those who are
    We come
    At this moment
    To renew and refurbish
    The American vision
    Of Abraham Lincoln

    ©Nikki Giovanni 2009
    12 February 2009

  •  There once was a fellow named Cain (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    brae70, PSzymeczek, ulookarmless, Limelite

    who's bimbo eruptions did flame
    a rash of denials
    and piles and piles
    of hypocritical shame.

    Capitalism may be our enemy, but it is also our teacher. --V.I. Lenin

    by commonmass on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 08:14:22 AM PST

  •  Newt Gingrich's wacky idea (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    PSzymeczek, Limelite

    for students the tables to clear,
    to wash up the floors
    and repair the doors
    is a symptom of GRINCHNESS, I fear.

    Capitalism may be our enemy, but it is also our teacher. --V.I. Lenin

    by commonmass on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 08:18:22 AM PST

  •  There once was a fellow named Rudy (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Who sought to perform White house duty.
    But his fling seemed mundane
    Next to Gingrich and Cain
    Who found much better ways to get booty.

    We seek to rise WITH the working class, not OUT of it.

    by brae70 on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 08:29:13 AM PST

  •  Gopers: (0+ / 0-)

    Marching resolutely backwards
    Into an imaginary past
    With both feet planted firmly
    In their gaping mouths
    And fingers stuck in their ears

    In defiance
    Of science
    An alliance
    Of dopes

    No compassion
    In their quest to fashion
    This need for dashin'
    Others' hopes



    Some people make you want to change species

    by ulookarmless on Sun Dec 04, 2011 at 02:50:02 PM PST

  •  To the tune of "Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay". (0+ / 0-)

    Let's have one more debate
    So we can bloviate
    Our talking points will be
    just short of lunacy.

    If Fox and CNN
    Can make more money, then
    As soon as this one's done
    They'll want another one.

    We seek to rise WITH the working class, not OUT of it.

    by brae70 on Mon Dec 05, 2011 at 05:21:16 AM PST

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