In Washington Wednesday, Gingrich told a crowd at the Republican Jewish Coalition forum that he’d nominate former Bush administration UN envoy John Bolton as Secretary of State.
TPM #1
It gets worse.
Asked by TPM to respond to Gingrich’s speech at the Republican Jewish Coalition Candidate Forum in Washington where he said flatly that Bolton would be his choice to run the nation’s foreign policy, Bolton’s office declined to say if he’d accept the appointment, if he’s discussed it with Gingrich or whether or not he’s endorsing Gingrich.
TPM #2
Chutzpah is announcing your secretary of state nominee before you are even nominated.
Extra chutzpah is nominating someone manifestly unfit for the position by reason of a lack of self-control.
But it takes Newt to announce that someone will fill a cabinet post in his somewhat improbable administration ... without even discussing the possibility with that person.
So, below the Orange Squiggle of Power, I hereby announce my cabinet appointees for the forthcoming blue aardvark administration, as America recovers from her long nightmare and realizes that only a sapient termite-eating quadruped can save us from our problems.
Position |
Appointee
|
Vice President, a.k.a. co-pilot |
God
|
State |
Ben Franklin
|
Treasury |
Money-changer whipping Jesus
|
Defense |
Winston Churchill
|
Justice |
Solomon
|
Interior |
Crazy Horse
|
Agriculture |
Persephone
|
Commerce |
Thin Buddha
|
Labor |
Hercules
|
Health |
Vishnu
|
Transportation |
Robert Goddard
|
Energy |
Albert Einstein
|
Education |
Socrates
|
Veteran's Affairs |
George Washington
|
Homeland Security |
Horatio
|
Chief of Staff |
Confucius
|
These people and / or entities
will accept their positions, as I have decreed. For I am blue aardvark, mighty and powerful.
Hey, if it works for Newt ...