1. Will Rick Perry have a brain freeze? Perry isn’t relevant anymore and there is no real reason to pay attention to him. But a meme has developed that Perry can’t talk for five minutes without saying something cringe-worthy stupid. Come on, it’s Saturday night, we deserve some entertainment fun!
2. Will Newt Gingrich compare Romney to Stalin? Will Gingrich announce that his first act as President will be to begin a study of how to add his face to Mount Rushmore? Newt’s bombast and overreach can never stay hidden for long; could tonight be the night they pop out again?
3. Mitt Romney is currently fighting for a third place tie in many states. Will he start to whine in the tone of a Park Avenue parent who just gave a million dollar donation to an exclusive private Manhattan prep school and who not can understand why his kid didn’t get accepted?
4. Can Rick Santorum get more than 17 seconds of airtime? True, nobody likes Rick Santorum. But ladies, it’s 5 minutes till closing time and the bar is about to shut down. All of the other men have visible, oozing canker sores. And there’s Rick standing in the corner wearing a clean shirt and willing to buy you a beer. The lights are dim and you’ve had a few too many. Suddenly Santorum doesn’t look that bad compared to all the other louts in the room, and you can’t remember why you hated him in the first place.
5. Is Ron Paul looking more and more flabbergasted and pissed off? This could suggest Paul will actually run a third party campaign next fall, thus guaranteeing an Obama victory.
6. If Clarence Thomas is the sort of guy Rush Limbaugh likes to have as a “black friend” then Jon Huntsman is the sort of guy liberal and moderate media types and Democrats like to have as a “favorite Republican.” Statistically speaking, Huntsman does have a chance of becoming the next hot not-Romney candidate. Will Huntsman finally stop talking about living in China and sounding all moderate and actually talk like a conservative for once? Gingrich announced this week he would appoint John Bolton as Secretary of State. Huntsman, if he wants to be serious as a GOP candidate, needs to do something cartoonish, like announce that he will appoint Ken Starr as his Attorney General, or better, Rush Limbaugh as his first Supreme Court nominee.
7. How many seconds into the debate will pass before Michele Bachman utters the word “Obamacare.” Perhaps we should all gather and drink shots every time this odious woman uses her sickening accent and voice to utter her non-winning mantra.